Castaway
by cfb23
Summary: A girl is stranded on a desert island with her murderous Professor, she knows his secret, he holds her captive. SPOILERS for 1st, 2nd and 3rd books in Insignia trilogy. Do not have to have read the books to read this fanfic. Mature themes, some potential noncon.
1. The Crime

I do not own any of the characters in the Insignia Trilogy, or the storyline in the books from which this is based. All rights belong to S. J. Kincaid. This was based on a love for Blackburn and the song 'Castaway' by Steve Knightley.

Please do listen to it. www . youtube . com watch?v=AkvOCxg6kZo  
He is half of the band Show of Hands (amazing English folk band).

Walking through woodland, staring at the rain  
I heard voices in the breeze  
The wind was changing, I couldn't stay  
Found myself running through the trees  
Oh the lights shone down below from the houses and the farms  
From the distant ships out in the bay  
Somewhere in the space between the darkness and the light I fell from the edge of the day

No signal no siren, no warning signs on my way  
I woke on the shores of this island castaway.

Cold air found me I was sleeping in the sand  
Waiting for some feeling to return  
No one around me, I walked along the strand  
Looking for driftwood I could burn  
Ashes and smoke they soared into the sky  
Watching my future drift away  
Somewhere in the space between the dusk and the dawn  
I fell from the edge of the day

No signal no siren no warning signs on my way  
I woke on the shores of this island, castaway.

Walking in footprints, maybe they're mine  
The sun is in the wrong half of the sky  
Staring into distance I'm looking for sails  
Of some other stranger passing by  
Feeling like the shark that slips into the deep  
Sinking every second that it's still  
Somewhere in the space between the sunset and the day  
Something inside just wasn't filled

How long will I wait here - how many years must I stay?!  
Just staring out at the horizon, castaway.

No signal, no siren, no warning signs on my way  
I woke on the shores of this island, castaway.

This is a bit different to the books in terms of the timeline. It begins at the end of book two but then leaves a large gap before you get to book 3. Also Tom was not there when Heather was killed.

James Blackburn had killed her! He had cold bloodedly, calculatedly murdered Heather! Anna stared as she hid behind the desk, unable to believe it. She knew that he was capable of truly awful things, torturing her fellow trainee Tom Raines on the census machine and that he was a scary, burly teacher whom she never wanted to get on the wrong side of. But _murder?_ Even with what she knew about his acts to Tom she would not have guessed, he was a _teacher_ for crying out loud! But he would never be held accountable for Heather, the poor girl had been going anyway, no one would look too much into the disappearance and there was no proof at all. None. Except... except Anna's brain – her neural processer. She could memorise every sweat gland, every widening of the eyes, every word. Her brain was in shock currently but her processor would recall everything in perfect clarity. Her heart pounded as she crouched, frozen in place behind the plastic covered wood that was now her shield from the man that stood metres from her, breathing heavily having just sent someone to their death.

Anna was a trainee – a plebe at the Spire – at Com-co. She was 20 and older than many of the other recruits. She had only come here, to this room, to the interstice by the transition chamber because she had heard about the vactrain and wanted to look at it, she hadn't planned to stay long, just get in-get out. Now she knew she was a witness to an awful crime, and that it had been due to blackmail, about Tom. The blond boy was higher in rank and was constantly in trouble. She loved his 'bad-boy', daredevil attitude – she would never dare break as many rules as he did! What had Heather said? He had a weapon, or he could do something which Blackburn wanted to use as a weapon. Something her instructor, the gruff figure who taught programming each week, clearly was willing to kill for. A _deadly mistake_. The chilliness of the words.

Anna wondered what would have happened if Heather had realised. He should have _told_ her what he would do if she stepped onto that train – he should have made it clear he wasn't bluffing, that he actually had a way to kill her, told her how and maybe, maybe she wouldn't have stepped into it. Maybe she would have believed him, but he was so vague she had no reason to. He should have – unless he didn't want her to survive their encounter? Anna's breath hitched as she started hyperventilating, shivering at the naked realisation that she had just made the top of that man's hit list. If he found out what she had seen.

Her brain tried to take her out of that spiral, to clear the fog. No. If Heather had known that was how Blackburn would end her, he would have had to take her to the census machine by force which he had said he would not do as he did not want to draw the attention of others still awake around the Spire. So she would have presumably have gone to bed and remained at the Spire, unable to leave at that time. Perhaps he could have grabbed her as she slept or detained her the next morning but it was too much of a risk. She could have easily messaged someone by then. He had no real other option. And he would not find out Anna had seen. Even if he did, he could simply wipe her memory of the event, she knew what he was capable of, she wouldn't refuse him. But memory wipes could be undone. A simple programme, for whatever reason could reverse it. It was not permanent. And Blackburn did not take risks. She was in danger.

Anna was hyperaware, feeling the vibration of machines, the pounding of her heart, the hardness of the floor beneath her feet, knowing how close she had come to death. She was still breathing whilst Heather, the beautiful but fake young woman with the brilliant smile who had ignored her only this morning, was gone. Dead. Out. She struggled to her feet, her brown hair clinging to her face in sweat, her hands trembling and her brilliant blue eyes, wide like a doe's, blinking tears. She could tell General Marsh but she wasn't sure how high up the power went. After all Heather had been on her way out and Blackburn was vital for the running of the Spire. There was also no evidence apart from her processor but she supposed Blackburn could say it was a virus making her see things or something. Then maybe he'd get her too. No. Anna couldn't say anything.

With that decision, Anna made her way, slowly, with mounting horror to her room which she shared with another plebe, Daisy. She did not plug herself in, she could not sleep. Could not possibly leave herself inert and unguarded after that. Could not stop and relax when Heather was unable to do so.

A month passed. Anna saw Blackburn in programming lessons and on her first encounter with the instructor since Heather's murder, naked fear had shown plainly on her face. He had glanced at her briefly and asked what was wrong, and Anna had frozen, quailed under his gaze and then stuttered that she had just realised that she could not programme. She was useless at it. This was the first thought that had come into her head and she had instantly regretted it. He had given her a stare that she was sure saw right through her and informed her that she would simply have to learn and get used to it. After that, Anna had tried hard to keep a more neutral expression on her face when in his class, although she still sometimes flinched if he came too near.

Their simulations had been going well. Tom still racked up a kill ratio better than anyone else, and went rogue on his own. Anna had taken to staring at him, wondering what it was that he could do – that had led to two smart and powerful individuals playing a deadly game. But to an extent she didn't want to know. She imagined it had something to do with the census device and whatever Blackburn had got from his head during that period, but if it was a secret that meant death, she wanted nothing to do with it. That wasn't strictly true. She had a plan. She would tell someone about what she had seen once she had somewhere to go, somewhere she could leave the Spire for, and hide. Or something came along. She didn't know how many more people Blackburn would kill or what this weapon was for and she fervently hoped he wasn't planning to use it soon because she was still determined to say something. But only when the right opportunity arrived. Only when she knew her claim would not be buried in bureaucracy.

Today was different to other days at the Spire. A group of trainees were doing a real-life training exercise. Not a simulation. It was to test their actual skills and would involve no guns, but knives and other such survival weapons were allowed. The aim was not to hurt the others as this was real-life, but to plant a device on those of the opposing team. Blackburn was with them as was another instructor, Mange. They were on travelling by boat to a small island called Canva as by sea was the only way to get there. The day chosen for the excursion was hot and sunny, as most areas surrounding desert islands were, but the sea was choppy, the wind high, blowing them off course. Blackburn adjusted the boat's motor to compensate for the push and they swayed back on track. Tom and his friends Wyatt and Vik were chatting excitedly. They called each other nicknames such as Gormless Cretin, Evil Wench and the best, Spicy Vikram, which Anna found highly amusing. She was an observer, she watched mainly. She noted that Tom's gaze lingered on Wyatt for a few seconds longer than it should have, that he was easily distracted by breasts and that he never seemed to notice other people unless they were ether useful to him, or agitated him. He barely ever even glanced at her. The boat was small, about 15 people crammed knee to knee in the rocking vessel, which of course Tom and Vik rocked further until Blackburn yelled at them. The look Tom gave his superior was less insolent than normal, it was angry and slightly afraid. Anna had purposefully sat as far away from that man as possible.

For the trip, the trainees had had their processors externally disabled which unfortunately included GPS and netsend. This would normally be considered dangerous and unnecessarily reckless but as Canva was only five miles long so they could hardly get lost, it wasn't deemed an issue. The Spire had an old drone above to keep an eye on them but the idea was to try and cope as if they did not have the benefit of the processer. It was the first excursion of its type at the Spire, pushed from above. Blackburn seemed particularly unhappy with it. Anna was not entirely sure what the purpose of this was but she relished the chance to try the game outside of a simulation. She had kept under Blackburn's radar so far and she was determined that she would continue to do so.

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One of the first of many requests/pleas/demands etc. for reviews :) (btw that means positive ones :P Negative ones are henceforth to be known as INSULTS) :P


	2. Dangerous Game

A faint buzzing caught Anna's attention above the roar of the wind and water and the squabbling of the boat. She cast around for the source and squinted to see a large ship in the sky, anonymous in its symbols. Without her processor she couldn't identify it but she was confused, this part of the world was notorious for sunken ships and difficulty flying due to winds and currents and various other phenomena she couldn't be bothered to learn about. But she knew enough to know that anything flying here was an unusual occurrence, the drone could only do so because it was stationary. It was high enough to see the island of Canva and zoom in enough to pinpoint combatants and signal home but that was it. It could not move. Suddenly the skyship dipped, its thrusters keeping it level. It must have had a sophisticated system to be able to navigate the harsh air gales. Then screams blared through the air as the skyship blew the drone out. Blackburn reacted immediately, using the keyboard on his arm to try to send for help, as an instructor his processor was not disabled.  
"Come on, come ON!" he muttered, typing furiously. "I've got through!" He told the panicked trainees."I've told Spire where we are, they'll come and get us just stay calm." That was when the skyship blasted them. With compressed air. It hit Anna like a physical blow, knocking her into the water. The boat was overturned and stinging, salty seawater filled her eyes, her ears, her mouth as she thrashed to the surface. It was chaos. Trainees were struggling to reach the hull of the overturned boat, or the island of Canva which was roughly half a kilometre away. Luckily all trainees could swim, a requirement of their training, and the currents were not too strong. Anna had somehow ended up near a large shape, a figure swimming with strong strokes away from the boat, towards the open sea. Blackburn. But then the skyship turned around and headed back towards them. It blew its air again and chaos reigned as huge waves formed, crashing down and forcing Anna underwater.

Time and again her mouth breached the surface and she spluttered, sucking in small gasps of oxygen. Then she was under and she couldn't get up, she couldn't. There were waves crashing into her over and over. It was non-stop. There were too many. It was too much. The pressure was too much, she was drowning, she couldn't move, couldn't breathe, blackness fuzzed at her vision, swallowing, consuming it. Bright, imaginary spots spread and sparkled. Everything was crazy, crazy was everything, the volume, the heavy weight on her chest. She thought no more.

Drip, drip, drip. She woke to wetness on her face. Small spots of spray showering her. Her head felt heavy, she could barely move her limbs, why did she feel so hungover? Anna groaned and tried to sit up, the sky spinning as she did so. Suddenly she remembered, glancing in panic at her surroundings unable to believe what she was seeing. Ocean, vast blue, unending ocean surrounded one side of her vision. She was sitting on fine, warm sand, her clothes drenched but drying in the hard sun. There were palm trees behind her, no one in sight, except...  
"Faeilr! Faeilr! Are you alright?" Anna's breath caught in her throat as she saw him thundering towards her, calling out her surname. Blackburn.

His hair was ragged and his eyes fierce as he scanned the surroundings. He looked her over in a preliminary check, she flinched as he reached towards her.  
"What is it?" he asked, his voice deep, paying no mind to the cuts on his hawkish face.  
"No-nothing" the girl stuttered and made to stand up again, for she had fallen over on weak legs.  
"What happened? Sir. Where are the others?" She remembered the suffix, the required title for someone in authority as she subconsciously stepped further away from the man she had seen kill.  
"That ship knew what it was doing." Blackburn muttered. "It destroyed the boat, spread out the trainees and disabled my processor. I can't get it online, it is as if I never had one." That statement sent chills down Anna's spine. If Blackburn's processor was disabled it wasn't due to the sea. It had been done on purpose. And there was no way to contact anyone, no one knew where they were. This was not Canva, and this was a part of the world rarely travelled.

"Do you know where we are Sir? Where are the others?" rasped Anna. Blackburn shot her a distracted glance.  
"I'm sure they are fine. I managed to call for backup near Canva, which means whoever controlled that skyship allowed me to. I don't think the others were the target, I was." Then in the silence that followed, he whispered almost to himself, "they'll think we're dead". That moved Anna to action. She leaped forward, frantically trying to find signs of other humans, racing towards the sea, then the trees.  
"No! No! They'll look for us, or we'll activate our processors. They have to! They have to!"  
Eventually Blackburn grabbed her by the shoulders, his bulky arms strong enough to force her around without even trying, as he glared into her face and shouted "no Faeilr they won't. They will think we are dead. Our processors have no GPS. We cannot activate them. Not even I can from here. No one knows where we are do you hear me? No one. We have to survive now. Do you have any tools? Any weapons on you?" His harsh voice stopped her panicking. She took deep breaths and grasped the blade she had strapped to her belt, part of the pack they had been given for Canva.  
"Yes Sir, I have my pack."  
Blackburn nodded, "Good. We will need it." He glared at the sun, its rays silhouetting him, glancing off his shorn, military style hair and angular features. "We'll need shelter for the night. Come on."

They trudged through the jungle, Blackburn seeming rather knowledgeable on survival skills in general which Anna was glad of. She trailed behind him, noticing her instructor was muttering, presumably trying to work out what had happened. This was clearly sabotage. She heard phrases. 'Vengerov', 'think I'm dead' 'out of the picture', 'others survived', 'Raines.' Anna couldn't help it. She had to ask.  
"You think Tom Raines had something to do with this Sir?" The shoulders in front of her stiffened and Blackburn turned around.  
"Raines didn't cause this Faeilr" he asserted. Anna knew this was not an answer.  
"But was he the _reason_ for it Sir? Was this because of him?" Anna immediately knew she had said too much. Blackburn's eyes narrowed and he stepped forward, forcing her to stumble back.  
"Why would you say that?" he breathed, deadly, like a snake, poised to strike. She was reminded just how large his chest and biceps were. How his arms could snap her in two, could grab her and not let go. She had never fully appreciated just how much taller, just how big Blackburn really was. Anna faltered, every instinct screaming at her to run.  
"I – I heard you mention his name, just now" she muttered fearfully. "Sir."  
Blackburn stared at her for a long moment and then said,  
"I was simply trying to work out who was on the boat. I believe the rest are safe." They continued, Blackburn forging a path through the trees.

After a long period of silence, broken only by her heavy breaths of excursion –Blackburn wasn't even out of breath- she asked the question that had been puzzling her.  
"Sir? If they meant to kill you, how would they know their plan would work? Especially if you think the others are, are alright? I mean it is pure chance we were stranded here, separated from the others right? And it was obviously no accident, I mean that skyship was deliberate enough. If the others are alive they'll be rescued, they can say it was no accident. But how did whoever it was, know _you_ would be the one to get swept off course, away from the boat? And would they not have thought of checking islands nearby?"  
Her lecturer continued to pick his way through thick jungle and then glanced at her. He seemed to ponder how to phrase his answer and then said "Thatta girl, that's a good mind you have. The person who did this did not care about witnesses, they are untraceable, a mystery, and they would not want to have lost valuable neural processors by killing the others. They would have made sure I was separated, perhaps by calculating the air pushed at us. It was a machine after all, it could have mathematically worked out the initial attack to make sure I was separated. But after that, the water, the currents, these are not consistent. The machine would then have little control. But it wouldn't matter if we were shot far enough out. I swam a lot of this you know. To this island. But I believe we hit a freak current, you and I. None of this area has been researched, whomever attacked us would not have known it was there. I believe this slipstream helped us cover an awful lot of distance. We are nowhere near Canva."

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Review or two? :)


	3. Reveal

Several hours later, they reached an area with heavy green vines. Blackburn took a knife and made a notch in a vine which leaked milky liquid. Then the milkiness ran to clear and her teacher slurped up the liquid. Once his thirst had been quenched he passed it to Anna. "Here. It's drinkable. You'll need it." Anna did. She was feeling very dehydrated although it was nearing darkness and the hottest part of the day had drawn to a close. She was a bit off put by drinking from the same bit as him, sharing his saliva but he looked at her impatiently and she decided she didn't care, gulping down the wonderful nourishing water.

She wiped her mouth, whilst Blackburn filled a small animal skin bag with the clear, water-like sap from the vine. He motioned for her to fill the one in her survival pack and they continued. "Sir? How long do you think we'll be stuck here?" Anna asked, her brain still trying to comprehend the enormous fact that they were utterly stranded. Castaways. Blackburn gave her a cursory glance and answered, "I don't know Anna. Someone wanted me out of the way, they think we are dead. No longer a threat. There are people in this world who will do whatever they can to achieve their aims, even if it means disposing of inconvenient people."  
"Like you did with Heather?" It slipped out. Automatically without her meaning it to. Anna froze. It must be true what they say, if you think about something too much you start to say it, to betray your thoughts with your words. Blackburn stopped and turned, his penetrating eyes on her. She couldn't move. She needed to run. To get away. Now. But Blackburn pinned her down with his glare, his gaze holding her still. "What?" his low voice stated the one word. He didn't need to say more, it was enough. She was in serious trouble. She had just become extremely inconvenient to him. "I – I didn't mean – I was just saying that – I um, I" Anna stammered, shock and adrenaline coursing through her system at the horror of the situation. She was now stuck on a desert island, with a man who wanted to kill her and was more than capable of doing it. "Tell me. There is no point in lying", Blackburn threatened softly. Anna tried anyway. "I, I meant that um, well Heather she was going to go work for the NSA which was um, convenient for ah, the Spire as she was such an embarrassment." It was a poor excuse. Blackburn just stared at her and then said "I don't believe you."

It was like a death sentence. Anna tried to run but he caught her almost immediately, a burly arm tight around her waist as he hoisted her around and flung her away from him. He forced her against a palm tree, his huge hands gripping her shoulders and then her wrists as she tried to pull away, his body pressed up against her's, keeping her in place as she struggled. "What did you mean? Tell me Faeilr!" Anna had ice in her veins, she could feel every point of contact with this man, her instructor, deadly and dangerous. "I was in the room that night. I saw you, talking to Heather, I saw her threaten you and then ignore you and I saw you kill her. You _murdered_ her! You murdered her! But I won't tell anyone, I mean it. Please, I won't, please! Please don't kill me! Please don't hurt me!"

Blackburn grimaced and stared down at her, pondering. Anna realised what an awful situation she was in. He knew that she knew about Heather. He knew that they were now seen as dead but if they ever got off this island she was a serious threat to him. She noticed again how her body rubbed against his as she struggled in his grip, frantically trying anything to get away. She managed to bite him which drew a cry of frustration from him and broke his thoughts. She stilled, afraid he would hit her, but he simply renewed his grip, keeping his hands away from her mouth. His face drew into a scowl and he continued to think through his options, although he was now in an even worse mood. His hands had her wrists pinned down by her sides. His breath was in her face and she grimaced, unable to get away, as much as she tried to move her head. He knew. He didn't care.

As Anna awaited her fate her thoughts turned. He had killed Heather which meant he was surely capable of things that were not as bad but still bad, and even worse things than killing. He may be her instructor, her teacher, but he was also a man, on an island, potentially for a long time alone and she was a woman, young and in no position to defend herself against this huge predator. No one knew where they were, no one could stop him or even prosecute him considering they were rescued. He surely would not let her live to board a ship and even if he did, he would make sure she would never tell her secrets. He didn't just have to kill her, he could use her. In any way.

Blackburn's stare finally ended as he relaxed his grip and stepped back. Anna tried to bolt, sure he would kill her when she felt him grip her waist again and push her chest against the tree, his hand on the small of her back. She couldn't crane her head to see but heard a ripping sound as he tore bandages from the survival kit and used them to tie her hands behind her back. He was no amateur, he knew what he was doing. "Come on. Don't run. You won't last a day. You need me, I don't need you. You know what I can do. I strongly suggest you do as I say." Anna looked at him, horror on her face at the thought of being made to navigate this jungle in front of him, with her hands tied. She wouldn't be able to stop herself falling, nothing. "What do you want from me? What are you going to do to me?" she asked. Blackburn simply told her to keep moving and to call him 'sir'.

Call him 'sir'. It was laughable. Authority meant nothing now. They were no longer at the Spire where such formalities were required. This was what Anna focussed on as she made her way, haphazardly through the jungle with her captor right behind. The sky was getting dark and the heat of the day rapidly cooling. Blackburn told her to stop at a small natural clearing. He separated her hands and tied them, still behind her, round a tree. Anna wondered why he bothered. If she left him she would die. And she could no more get off this island as learn to fly. She watched as he expertly constructed a shelter, made using the palm trees available and the long, waterproof leaves. He also fed her some water from the sack. Anna wanted nothing from him but was desperately thirsty and eagerly sipped from the bottle at her lips. He disappeared into the forage for a long time and eventually returned with a dead bird. It was large but she didn't know what it was. Anna was exhausted, sagging against the tree and managed to manoeuvre herself into a sitting position, her arms aching. She found herself dozing.

When she awoke she found it was truly dark. Stars twinkled briefly through gaps in the thick canopy and the island was alive with chatter of animals. The air was humid but rapidly cooling. Blackburn had lit a fire and roasted the bird. He held onto her wrist whilst she ate with her other hand, the hot meat delicious. Then her instructor took a small pot from his survival pack and poured the melted fat from the animal in. Next her gathered some ash from the fire and poured water from the water skin through it, filtering it. He did this into another small bowl, repeating the process until the water took on the black colour of the ash. Next her mixed it with the fat and allowed the mixture to boil and then cool. Anna recognised the technique with surprise. The ash/water mix was potash. He was making soap!

Going to the toilet was the worst bit. Blackburn had dug a narrow but deep trench some way from the camp. He marked trees with a pen from the kit. Anna stared at it, her hands tied behind her. "No way" she asserted, positive this was some sort of joke. But Blackburn just jerked her forward and gently pushed her to the ground. She did not know what was happening but shrieked, kicking out when his hands reached for the waistband of her jeans, undoing them. "Relax Faeilr" he groaned. "I'm just making it easier so you don't mess up those clothes on the john". Her hands still tied behind her, she let him gently slide her out of her shoes and jeans, whimpering slightly when he removed her knickers. But he wasn't looking at that, he was staring at her eyes, as if determined to show her that he didn't care, this was just a necessity. The next part was horrible. Crouching in the open whilst Blackburn stood near. After her pleas he had reluctantly untied her hands and turned around but he was still close enough to have his hand on her head, to warn him if she decided to run or attack him. "Get on with it girl" he growled. "I really _really_ don't care, we're all human, I'm former military remember!"

Back at the shelter, Blackburn tied his wrist to hers in a complicated knot she was sure she could never undo without him realising. The shelter was small and they had to lie close together. She saw now why the leaves covering the roof of this contraption was so important. The clouds had rolled and thunder struck, and it rained. It didn't just rain. It poured. It was rain like she'd never experienced before, heavy, dense, a literal wall of water. Anna's first night began in tears, the world around her echoing her sentiments.

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What do you think? Review?


	4. Captive Castaway Experience

Two weeks passed and a routine developed. Blackburn and her were moving until they found somewhere to make a more permanent shelter. They were trying to navigate the island going North and had discovered various treasures such as the small freshwater pool, the area filled with tropical retiles and the flat grassy field sprouting cacti. Blackburn had used a knife to gauge the flesh from one of these cacti and bade her chew it, sucking the liquid out but not swallowing the flesh. They had tried another with fewer spikes but the sap was milky white and he had warned her it would be poisonous. Generally Blackburn killed animals, he didn't really trust her with a knife, after all, she was still his captive. But Anna cooked, and they then moved on. She had been having pains in her stomach and recognised signs of an oncoming period. Anna had no idea what to do about this. It was late, presumably due to the considerable stress she was under, and although she and Blackburn had broken the barrier of bodily functions and she had thought she could not get much more embarrassed than having to _go_ in front of him, she did not know what to do about this monthly phenomenon. When it struck Blackburn had her wash her clothes in the small lake, something they did as often as they could. She used sand as grit to help her, her face red with humiliation. But Blackburn simply gave her some cloth from the survival kit. She had thought all of it had been used for filters, constructions and of course, for when her bandages had worn out and he'd needed more rope. But it seemed he had anticipated this course of nature and kept some separate. This surprised her. She could not imagine him thinking about that. He told her to use the cloth and replace it with a new one as needed, washing the old one. This way they came to survive on the island.

Blackburn began leaving her untied more often, particularly when he needed help constructing a more durable, permanent shelter. He still watched her bathe or wash (depending on where they were) to ensure she didn't run. She wasn't sure why he kept her around. He hadn't tried to touch her yet but she caught him looking, except during bathing where she just tried to avoid looking at him and get it over with as quickly as possible. Their clothes were dirty and torn. She patched them up, using plant fibre twisted into a hard thread and a makeshift needle whilst Blackburn supervised. Eventually they made their way back to the sea. Blackburn had decided they could cover the rest of the island, the other side of it later and they journeyed back to where they had first been shipwrecked. Gazing out at the horizon, not a boat or other vessel in sight, just endless water, Anna wondered again why she had told him what she had seen with Heather. It was such a stupid mistake. At least she would have a hope, a chance, if only she had kept silent, he would have perhaps kept her on his side. They had been trapped for around 4 months now. Her family would think her dead, they all would. If they ever were rescued she had blown all chance of being allowed to return. Unless she managed to kill him first. But that was no option. He was smarter, stronger and better at surviving than she. She needed him.

She asked him later, as he watched her with narrowed eyes gut the fish he had caught, why he kept her around. "I know you could just kill me, it would be easier, like Heather. I know I don't have a chance to get off this island, ever. You won't let me. So what is it? Why?" For the first time in four months she left off the 'sir'. That stupid sign of respect. What was the point? She had no respect for the man. Besides, if he was going to do anything to punish her, she would add it to the answer to this question. Maybe this was the moment where it happened, where he killed her, or worse. But she had to know. She couldn't take the uncertainty, the always being on guard, the knowledge that every night might be her last. She looked very different to before. They both did. Anna had grown stronger, muscles built up from the physical exertion of survival. Her face had thinned, become more terse, hardened, and her hair was long and shaggy. It roped off her with the ends uneven and ragged where Blackburn had hacked them off. He had wanted to cut all her hair off to prevent lice and such but she had argued that hair helped keep the body warm at night so he had let her be. For his part he had incredibly, built muscle but got leaner. Both were tanned from the sun beating down, his hands were rough and worn. Anna's shoes were seriously getting holes now, which she couldn't keep patching up with leather skins. Her clothes were full of holes and mends. She had thrown her knickers, socks and bra away months ago, as they wore down from constant wear. But her t-shirt and jeans were still amazingly intact, her jeans shorn off below the knee. She had more freedom. She was allowed to go the toilet by herself, as long as he was nearby.

"Why do I keep you around?" Blackburn muttered in response, frowning. "You know I was in a mental institution for a long time. Isolated, I was seen as a hopeless case". Anna's breath hitched. He never talked about this time. Everyone at the Spire knew it. Blackburn had been part of 300 military personnel given neural processors over 16 years ago. Most had died as they were adults, and for a processor to work with your brain it had to be inserted as a child, which was why she and the others at Comco were so young. Blackburn had been one of the few that survived, but all survivors had gone mad. They had had fits, seizures. Blackburn had become a paranoid Schizophrenic and had been locked up for years. But he had singlehandedly reprogrammed his own processor and eventually become better, getting a job at the Spire teaching the young trainees. He was remarkable. Since then he had a vendetta against Vengerov, the man responsible for all of it. He was a brilliant programmer and military man and was very single minded. Blackburn drew breath, jolting Anna back to their conversation.

"When you are alone for such a long time, you realise human company keeps you sane. You need it. You are useful to me". And that was it. He needed her. But Anna realised that there was no way to escape the man on this island. He was the reason she survived, his skills had been invaluable in ensuring they had even made it four months. She now knew a lot more than she had when she had arrived, but it was not enough.

That night they slept in the shelter, as always, hearing the rain crash down. Her right hand tied to his left, side by side in the small space with the man who would kill her as soon as she was no longer 'useful.' Anna normally fell asleep immediately. At first she had found it horrifying being in such close quarters to this man. To be able to feel his breath on her neck, his huge hands dragging her's wherever he moved it whist sleeping. Unable to turn over, unable to escape. It had been unbearable. But it was amazing how quickly one got used to such things.

She had tried once, early on, to escape at night. She had managed to palm a knife when he wasn't looking and carefully carefully used it to saw through the bandage that tied her to him. She had hesitated in the darkness, knowing he would come after her, wondering whether or not to slit his throat. Wondering if she could. Before she knew it, she had felt a huge arm knock against her's and a hand twist her wrist to force her to drop the knife. She had scrambled back in horror away from the angry mountain in front of her. "Are you insane Anna?" he'd yelled. "You realise the number of things that could kill you out there? Yes I could too but I am not going to." He'd paused then, "not yet". "You wouldn't last a day girl. And you can't kill me. You hesitated. You don't have it in you." Anna had wanted to point out that just because she had hesitated this time didn't mean she wouldn't next time, but she knew this wasn't the case. She couldn't do it. He was ruthless, she was not. Then he'd hit her. He had socked her in the jaw, near her cheek hard enough to leave a large mass of a purple green bruises the next morning. She had not slept that night after he had tied their wrists together again. She didn't want to risk physical violence again after that. She had done whatever he said. Although that didn't stop her answering him back sometimes, or muttering things under her breath. Sometimes, when she really wanted to wind him up, she'd call him James, using his first name with a mocking tone. Most of the time he'd start towards her threateningly and she would apologise fearfully but sometimes he would let it slide, almost looking amused.

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Please review guys! LOVE reviews! Thanks! :D


	5. Escape

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Review begging here... motivation is good ;P

More time passed and Anna began to learn more about Blackburn. She learned he had nightmares, he would murmur "no" over and over. He was very meticulous, very keen on keeping himself fit, and her for that matter, and he hated Vengerov with a passion. Sometimes she felt it was all he thought about. But he never gave many details on that. Never mentioned his life before. She had asked once and he had glared at her, told her to mind her own business and tied her to the tree for the rest of the day, something she had not had to endure since her first week. So Anna tried other things. She tried making herself useful to him, to be likeable, to forge an emotional connection so when the time came, he would find himself unable to kill her. It had not worked. She had even considered sleeping with him but had almost immediately disregarded the thought feeling sick. She would not let it come to that. She would never ever let it come to that. She was no longer even sure he would. He hadn't tried to touch her at all, although he did look when she was undressed: with only the clothes they were wearing and him unwilling to let her out of his sight, she had often had to wash her clothes with nothing on, his stare on her. But whenever he realised she had seen him looking he would adjust his gaze to look over her head. She didn't know why he bothered. Why would what she thought matter to him?

Anna had long since learned to control the horrible embarrassment she felt and just get on with things. Feeling embarrassed, demanding he turned around, would not change the outcome. Not when he thought she would run. Better to just get on with it and fight back the urge to cover herself which meant everything took longer. "For crying out loud girl, it is nothing I haven't seen before!" he had shouted when she had tried to prevent him from seeing her the first time she washed. "Anna, I really _really_ don't care so just get on with it."

It was a strange life, living so close to the man, dancing with death each day. She got used to it. But having just one person, someone who rarely spoke, or only to rant about her stupidity, was difficult. She longed for touch. She longed for comfort, human interaction other than with a mad man. Anna didn't think too far into the future, she couldn't. She would drown in despair and that was not something she could afford in a survival situation. Once, just once, a month after the shipwreck, they had spotted a skyplane, presumably looking for them. It had been a split second, through the gap in the canopy. Anna had raced, giddy with laughter as she ran to keep it in her sight but Blackburn had held her back, squinting. "Shouldn't we signal? Build a fire Sir?" she asked in excitement, her thrills making her forget that only one of them would ever leave this island. "No, it wouldn't see, it is only here on an off chance and-" Blackburn had paused.  
"What?"  
"It might be the people who sent us here." That statement had rocked her. How would they know friend from foe? Did they know they were still alive? Would they try to kill them again? But since that incident nothing else had happened.

Anna woke with a start. Tonight they were on the other side of the island, they had finally made it back through the path they had originally started on ten months before. Anna was sleeping next to Blackburn, his snores filling the shelter, her wrist tied to his. She wondered why she had woken. She rarely did, normally sleeping through the night. Then she realised she was itching again. Her now dreadlocked hair was pressed against her, her rags barely covering her legs now. She had opted for a sort of skirt made from the remains of her jeans. They had worn away so much they were brown now, and she had been forced to spend days sewing a top made from a large cat-like creature Blackburn had speared after her original cotton top had been shredded by it in an attack. Blackburn had tended to her wounds, the scratches she had received whilst he had been away, as the creature, drawn to the camp by the smell of food had snatched at her. His hand had been gentle on her scrapes, his homemade soap mixed with saltwater invaluable in cleaning the wound. Blackburn had lent her his shirt during those days so she could hide her modesty whilst she worked. She remembered hugging herself in embarrassment when the pieces of her top fluttered around her, stringy with blood. Blackburn had looked at her, his dark eyes hard to read as something flickered within them. He'd then lifted his arms and taken off his top and handed it to her, and Anna's eyes had immediately been drawn, irresistibly, to the lines of his biceps, his hard pecs. She raked his body, her pupils wide, dilating. It was the first time she had seen him topless and she was mesmerised. It was the fact that this was a situation she would never have thought she would be in before. Blackburn had caught her stare and raised his eyebrow, at which Anna blushed, eyes darting to the ground. She'd thought she'd spied a slight smirk on his face.

Now her legs itched uncomfortably from insect bites, a rash marking them after they had brushed against an unusual plant the day before. She dabbed the paste she had made onto her skin with her free hand, to soothe it. The paste had been make from coconut milk, fat, hard bark boiled to release the tanic acid and crushed leaves of a dock-leaf-like plant she had found a month earlier. Then she stilled as she heard movement next to her.

Blackburn was awake. Anna was a heavy sleeper, she would have to be. Sleeping in such close quarters meant one had to be discreet with moving. Or anything else. She felt him shift and pretended to be asleep as he gently moved his hand, the one connected to her's, to undo his trousers. Anna froze. What was he doing? She struggled to keep her fingers limp and her breathing slow as every instinct wanted her to pull back. Blackburn cautiously moved his hand back to her side and to her horror she felt his fingers slide under the bottom of her top, and up. She felt him watching her in the dark, his fingers trailing light fires up on her stomach, moving up and down near her hip. Then he withdrew his hand, putting it down, her own arm tied to it, and she heard him rustle and noted a wet sound smacking the air. Anna barely breathed as she realised in horror what was happening. Well he hadn't tried to rape her on this island, although she felt he was probably capable of it. She supposed he needed some way to relieve himself. His breaths hitched, the vibrations of his movements next to her becoming faster. The movement stopped after a while as he used a broad leaf to clean up and settled back. Anna felt paralysed as Blackburn drifted back to sleep. She stayed awake that night.

The next morning Anna confronted him, her face red with indignation and embarrassment. He didn't even look embarrassed, though he did say sorry for touching her stomach. He said something she would never have thought to hear from him "I just needed some contact, being out here so long, I needed to touch someone else". It was such a human admission she couldn't believe it. But the rest of the morning passed as normal, her sniping sass at the man under her breath whilst they worked, checking the stills for water, catching fish and gathering other forms of food. There was no one else on this island but plenty of fruit and nuts, some of which Anna had never encountered before being stranded. Blackburn knew a surprising amount about safe foods to eat and how to recognise what was poisonous. Anna had become adept at the same skills, in fact, she felt she might just be able to survive alone on this island. Perhaps she should consider running.

Time continued to pass like a sad joke as everything else stood still. The weather was cooling slightly, the rain harsher at night and the days quickening. Anna grew taller, more muscular, she had lost much of the puppy fat she had started with, much of her subtle curves, her face more angular and slightly scarred. Blackburn too continued to evolve, a brown beard growing around his rugged chin, his dark eyes framed by wild eyebrows. His hair had grown longer too, he had to hack it off with a knife every so often but it was still longer than it had been. Anna sometimes thought back to their first day, the realisation that no help was coming. She wondered what their pictures would look like, then and now. She snorted. No one would recognise her. Even her eyes were harder, more secretive, careful. She was able to handle all sorts of things, do things that would have been unthinkable before. She could spear and skin animals, she could cook them on an open fire without burning the meat, make soap from the fat. She could track, navigate by the stars to an extent when out on the beach, flex string and then rope from the fibres of the palm leaves. She knew how best to help heal cuts, to bandage legs, to make braces and how to mix rudimental flowers and herbs for a medicine. Anna had learned she could endure humiliation, even undressing in front of her teacher, she could endure constant fear until it felt more like a comfortable throb, could endure incessant insect bites, rough sleeping, could even make the traps to make noise and scare away the beasts.

Anna had not forgotten about deciding to run. She had been preparing. They were unsure how large the island was. It had taken a month to walk around the whole thing, bearing in mind that they could not walk quickly in the baking heat, keeping out of the hottest part of the day. If they went through the jungle it meant an even slower pace with the density and dangers pressing in around them. The air was humid and it melted determination. They had been on the island, which Blackburn had nicknamed Stow: an Old English word for place and what Anna felt was also an apt description of what they were doing, roughly fourteen months, birthdays and Christmas passing unmarked. Anna guessed the island was perhaps 300 miles in coastline. They could make roughly ten miles a day with the heat and heavy climate. This meant there was a lot of ground in which to hide. Anna could secret herself away, moving further from Blackburn. She hoped, if she was careful, he would not be able to find her. Over the past few weeks Anna had been carefully thinking about what she needed. They were camped near the edge, about a mile from the sea. Blackburn had stills hidden around and various underground water traps which were vital for their survival. Anna was well aware that water was one of her main priorities away from Blackburn. She had hidden a couple of tools, buried by the base of a palm tree to the North of their camp, she knew a lot about survival now but water was the main priority.

Many might question why Anna wanted to run away now. It would not be possible to hide forever, the island wasn't big enough, and Anna had survived with the man for over a year. But that was the problem. Every day spent with him was another day of blunted fear, watching him in case he decided he'd had enough. If she ran, she would at least have some sort of chance if rescue came, and Anna had not given up hope. Much like when a gambler says 'one more try', Anna felt that each day meant a day closer to rescue. Surely she had waited long enough? _Surely_ a ship would come soon?

The day came. The day for escape. Of sorts. Anna knew travelling at night, with the rain and the creatures lurking in luminous shadows, was madness. So she timed her moment well. She pretended to need the 'bathroom' (or what passed in the jungle) and made her way out of her captor's line of sight. She then quickly went West into the forage and lit a pre-prepared green fire, giving out thick, black smoke. She knew what Blackburn would do. She had taken too long on her business and he would be getting worried. He would make his way towards the latrine, and spy the smoke billowing out. This was where her plan got risky. Blackburn was an accomplished tracker and not stupid. He would realise the smoke was a trick, to lure him away. Anna hoped he would strategically go in the opposite direction, thinking she was tricking him whilst fleeing the scene of the fire. In fact, Anna would head West, double bluffing him. She knew it was only a matter of time before he realised the tracks she had put down the day before, on the opposite direction, were too old and headed back to camp, but it gave her a decent head start. She ran to her pack of essentials and tools she had smuggled away and began to make her way past the fire, and down the non-existent path, trying to go as fast as possible without leaving a mark.

It was hard and dangerous work but she had known it would be. Anna built a mound shelter, having no time to make a more stable one of branches and trees, she simply leant some branches against each other to form a long triangle, and buried the webbed sides with sand and leaves and anything she could find. It was her first night alone, having eaten a meagre meal of dried coconut, fruit and some dried meat and it was terrifying. She lay awake all night hearing the rain hitting the canopy of the jungle and penetrating the shelter. She kept thinking she could hear Blackburn creeping outside, or monstrous cat-like creatures stalking her, smelling her blood. She had not realised how secure she had felt with Blackburn's huge body next to her. The next day had been utterly nerve wracking, waiting for him to come and track her. She thought she could sense him near and made her way onwards. Anna knew full well she had no hope of outrunning him, he was better than she was, but she could still survive out here, on her own. She could.

It was a trial of fire. Hide, run, track, double guess or be caught. She planted stills, made makeshift shelters and kept moving away from where she thought he would be. For about three weeks Anna managed to evade her professor, travelling light and, on one breath-taking occasion, actually spying him nearby. On that occasion she had barely breathed, hidden high in the palm tree, watching his large form scan the area below. Gradually she found herself making her way back towards the ocean, with its brilliant bright stars and heavy, crystalline waves. And then, one night, the blackness of the jungle brilliant against the stars, her face lit up with mixed horror and thrill. Smoke was flowing up, thick and fast to the sky, three fires crackling roughly half a mile away, down the coastline to her left, in the shape of a triangle. A triangle was the international signal for help! Blackburn must have seen a ship!

Anna's heart was beating, adrenaline coursing through her veins, this was it! Rescue! Hope! But her joy was tinged with horror because this was one of the most dangerous times for her. Blackburn would not let her on that ship, and he would not want her left alive on the island to possibly be rescued another time. Her eyes scanned the trees for movement, for his figure. She spotted with a jolt, the ship, on the horizon, coming towards them. She considered lighting her own fire triangle to make it obvious, but didn't want to draw Blackburn's attention. Distant figures loaded onto a motorised boat, speeding towards the shore of Stow. The dark figures came on shore, looking nervous. Anna spotted Blackburn making his way towards them. They had seen him, he couldn't see her. She should wait for them to leave, hope for another impossible rescue, hope Blackburn would not return, wait. It might take another fifteen months but she could do it. She could survive. Suddenly Anna knew she couldn't do it. She could not let them leave. Not without her. She ran, waving her arms and shouting, using vocal chords she had barely used in a month.


	6. Heading Home

"HELP! HELP! Please! You have to help me!" Her voice, shrill and loud blared through the air like an arrow, piercing the sky. Blackburn glared at her, his movements sharp. She was racing across the sand to reach them, focussing purely on the bright light of their torches and her heart beating and eyes stopping tears at the possibility of release. The figures straightened up and stared at her in amazement, and one even jogged up to meet her. "Miss, are you alright? Please, come with me", Anna felt the first human contact other than Blackburn she had had in over a year as he pressed his hand to her wrist to steer her towards the ship. Instinctively she pulled back, eyes wide as a startled doe. The man blinked and stepped back in shock before trying to usher her forwards. As they crossed the grainy particles beneath them which slid unstable under their feet, Anna was thinking fast. Blackburn would not risk killing her in the open, not when these men were here so she was safe for now. But once on board the ship anything could happen. She could easily have an 'accident', it could even be made to seem like suicide. He could not risk her reaching Comco. She honestly wasn't sure what he would do if that happened, what he would be prepared to risk amongst the chaos of their return, and she knew he planned for her she would be dead before they were in a position to find out. Her and Blackburn were wrapped in thick, musty blankets and sat side by side on the small boat, knees knocking together. The motor was loud, allowing little room for talk as they raced towards the larger ship. It left small flurries of white foam and huge drifting waves, cascading behind them. The spray and wind whipped their hair around, pushing it back from their faces. Anna could feel Blackburn's knee resting next to her's, tense. His hand was clenched in a fist. Suddenly she was unsure about her earlier assumption that he would not try anything on the small boat. Supposed she 'slipped'? The man opposite them was looking pretty attentively however so she hoped the madness in Blackburn's eyes was not enough to make him risk it.

As the motor slowed and the boat, neared the wind seemed to grow wilder. They were led on board to a scene of controlled chaos, shouts from all directions, and ushered into a small white cabin to greet a large, tanned and heavily tattooed man with a fine brown beard and rough hands. "You must be the ones that signalled for help." His voice was sturdy but kind as he surveyed them and they him. "Yes. We appreciate you helping us out, we have been on that island a long time", Blackburn sounded utterly civil. Anna had come to realise that he could put on a different persona at will, only showing himself truly when he was alone, or with her, as she didn't count.  
"Aye it seems it! How long?" the man, who had introduced himself as Captain Yarrow asked. Blackburn gave a brief, undetailed account of what had happened, largely truthful with many details (such as his treatment of her) left out. Anna noticed he barely mentioned her, focussing the listener on what _he_ had done, only acknowledging her with the use of 'we'. She wondered if this was done on purpose to draw attention away from her, make her easier to forget, less noticeable.

The Captain it turned out, was sailing a merchant ship although a couple of the men on board were armed to guard against pirates. They had been passing near the island when they had seen smoke and come to investigate. He was happy to sail them to the nearest port and contact Comco on their behalf but Blackburn insisted on doing that himself. Anna sat outside as he radioed in and she wondered what exactly he was saying. He returned and looked at her for the first time since arriving on the ship. The Captain stood nearby so Anna imagined whatever Blackburn said was as much for his benefit as it was for her's. "I've contacted Comco, they thought we were dead. They sent a couple of search and rescues at first but it seems we drifted a long way from Canva and were presumed lost at sea. They are sending a plane to pick us up, they'll be there tomorrow." This time it was Anna's turn to stare. He'd said 'us', did he really mean for her to come with him? Or did he simply want to wait until everyone was asleep to off her? Her mind ran through the scenarios in a second. A tragic accident, suicide, mentally unstable. A cold shudder went through her, she could not let that happen. Instead Anna looked her ex-Professor straight in the eyes and stated "I look forward to it." He narrowed his eyes at her but remained silent.

Anna was led to a small, box-like cabin below deck where a bed had been hastily made. She and Blackburn, despite their tiredness, had been given a thorough medical check up and several injections before being cleared. Anna understood that Blackburn was sleeping in the galley with the other sailors, but as a woman she was being offered the luxury of her room. Due to her elated exhaustion, Anna's inhibitions were temporarily lifted. As Blackburn and a crew member had accompanied her, explaining her privilege in being given a room, she had muttered "finally, someone who knows how to treat a lady". Blackburn, who despite the day seemed to be displaying no signs of tiredness, gripped her shoulder hard at that. He stood by the door before following the crew member upstairs and growled "goodnight ' _my lady_ '" the sarcasm flowing like treacle.

Anna cried when she used her first proper toilet since before Stow. By the time she had crawled into a soft, heavenly bed (plain and flat with a hard, single layer mattress by previous standards) she had no more tears to shed. It was delicious. The rock of the boat, the silence that stretched out, broken by glorious waves. The softness of the material, a scratchy tarp that she would not have touched before Stow but that seemed amazingly foreign and comforting after nothing. Anna fell deeply into sleep.

She woke in the darkness, blinking at the dim light of the open door. To her horror, she recognised the large silhouette mirrored in the frame. She froze, cursing herself for being so stupid. She should have stayed awake, guarded against the inevitable confrontation with Blackburn but her rescue had dazzled her and she had been so blinded by feelings that she had forgotten to worry. Her survival instincts were in overdrive now though. "Sleep well Faeilr?" he sneered, his body blocking the only exit. "Did you sleep better the last month or so? Sleeping in trees, always looking over your shoulder?" Anna cautiously moved her legs, which had turned to jelly, to the side of the bed.

"Get away from me!" she growled, her arm reaching for a weapon she knew wasn't there. "You don't touch me!"

"Oh but you can't be trusted, you have shown me that," Blackburn muttered, eyes glinting. "You showed me that when you foolishly ran away last month, and that means you are a problem for me. I can't let anyone know what you know, I've worked too hard to have everything ruined by a little girl!" he spoke the words with such venom and something hit Anna deep in the stomach, rage filling her at the phrase 'little girl'. "You aren't the boss of me anymore _James,_ I don't have to do what you say! I am not tied up to you, all alone on a desert island anymore. I don't have to listen to your snores and if you touch me, if you step one more foot inside this cabin, I will scream!" Anna was out of breath, her fury replaced by sheer icy terror at the look on Blackburn's face. He looked furious. He took a deliberate step closer and Anna backed up. "You will not scream. You will cooperate and you will do whatever I tell you to do without question, no matter what it is", his voice was deadly and low. "When we get back to Comco, you will do nothing to arouse suspicion, I will brief you on what to tell others and under no circumstances will you submit to the census device." His eyes glittered dangerously and Anna swallowed. "Okay, okay. Please, please don't hurt me! Please, can't you just erase them – erase my memories of her, of that night?" she stammered. Blackburn rolled his eyes.

"How stupid are you Anna? If I did that, you would be very confused as to what had happened and why you were so afraid of me this past year".

"I'm not afraid of you!" the words slipped out, bitingly sharp and Anna quailed under Blackburn's gaze as he smirked and stepped nearer, cautiously. "No, of course you aren't" he whispered sarcastically as she pressed herself against the wall. His voice turned serious. "I cannot use the census machine for this. It would raise too many questions and can be easily undone. No. You will keep quiet, you will do as I say and you will not ever tell a soul about any of this. I will be monitoring you, watching your every move. Do not think you can trick or escape me, you know me well enough by now to know that you even try and I will not hesitate to put an end to you!" his hasty words were replaced with a calm and measured tone. "Do you understand?"

Anna's instincts were screaming at her to run. She was in danger, he was lying, and even if he wasn't she would be in thrall to him for the rest of her life. But her voice stammered out, "I understand, sir."

"Good. Look sharp Faeilr." Once he had left, Anna sunk down the wall to the floor, relief and shock pouring through her. She was sweating, she hadn't realised how much presence the man had, how much of the room he took up with his aura. He wasn't about to kill her, she began shaking, the toll of a year and a half of fear coming through, her body wracked with sobs. She hadn't realised how much she had been holding in and how much she had firmly believed this day would never happen. But she was going to be able to return to Comco. She was not going to be murdered unless he felt it was necessary. For the first time in a long time, Anna allowed herself to relax slightly, her breathing deepening as she drifted to sleep.

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Reviews please - you know the drill!


	7. The Spire

General Marsh stared at her, his face a drawing of shock and resignation as he took in the two people he had presumed long dead. He briefed them on what had been happening. The other plebes and Mange had been rescued the same day as the attack, they had all been fine apart from some shock and mild pneumonia. The plebes had described the skyship pushing air at them but none of them had seen Blackburn and Anna since the ship started blasting. It seemed Blackburn's neural processor (the computers planted within the brains of every plebe and Blackburn,) had been externally disabled by someone very sophisticated and the Spire had been unable to reverse the damage. Without Blackburn there running the Spire, for he was essential for its smooth running, they had been forced to rely on external 'experts' from Vengerov's company who had been hounding the place like wolves for a long time. The Spire had run with limited power. Wyatt Enslow, the rudely oblivious girl who hung around with Tom Raines and had been trained by Blackburn personally, had taken over much of the work and the programming competency of the plebes had naturally gone downhill in his absence.

Anna's parents had been told she had died, though she suspected they hadn't cared much, a sour taste in her mouth. Her mother was a high ranking banker who only really cared about the money and was constantly working and her father indulged himself in little projects such as hypnotherapy, pottery and even a chutney making business at one point. He never stuck with anything but money was no barrier with her mother's high wage. Neither parent had ever had much time for her. Oh they had probably had a funeral, her father making sure he looked the part, with his designer suit and dark cufflinks, dressed up. He would have spent hours styling his hair, his beard, polishing his shoes before the memorial. Her mother would have smeared on the eye liner, possibly going with black or grey lipstick and they both would have milked it for all it was worth. Heck they'd probably gone on holiday with the bereavement leave they'd received. And Comco would have paid them a substantial amount in compensation. It was sick. They didn't care, she had just been a distraction, another project for them.

Marsh was evidently pleased to have Blackburn back but he looked at Anna like she was some mythical prodigy, some sort of rare creature he could not understand. She supposed in a world where no one killed, ( _sure, supposedly,_ she snorted at the thought), a world where there was no more war, that something as horrible as being Castaway, left to their own devices for a year and a half was unimaginable. Blackburn repeated the undetailed tale he'd spun the captain the night before. Marsh seemed unwilling to push too far into the delicate time of their lives, he seemed unsure how to proceed. But he was very clear, Anna was to report to the counsellor, Olivia and would continue her training.

They reached the Spire, the place where plebes were being trained to fight intergalactic wars against the Russio-Chinese for resources. These wars meant no one would die as they were done in space, using machines, the plebes could connect with them using their minds, their neural processors. The Earth was now controlled by a few big companies, the main ones controlling food and water. Venegrov was head of one of these corporations, he was one of the most powerful people in the world. Anna ignored the stares of the plebes as she walked through the corridors to her room. Daisy had since moved up in ranks, as had others in the time she had been away but she was still to share a room with the girl. She was occasionally accosted by people hounding her with questions, what had it been like? What was Blackburn like? How did she survive? Anna remained silent, saying nothing, hoping the pounding would stop.

Blackburn had immediately busied himself undoing the blocks to their neural processors and redoing the 'work' of the 'experts' who had been replacing him. Wyatt told Anna that he often swore at their incompetence. Anna was sitting on her bed when it happened. She had her head in her hands and was trying to block out Daisy's incessant chatter when she felt a jolt of electricity reach through her. Her fingers tingled and she jerked back onto the bed in a fit, her muscles seizing up. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and suddenly everything was still. She felt different. She glanced around, her eyes sharper, clearer. She saw Daisy looking at her in shock, her name popping up in Anna's vision. Her neural processor was back online! "Are you alright? What happened?" Daisy rushed over in confusion, her hands not quite daring to touch the stranger who had come back into her life, wilder and more dangerous than before. Anna simply stared at her for a few seconds, taking in the new experience of the extra focus, and euphoria of having the processor working again. "He's fixed my processor. He's done it!"

The next day Anna was back in lessons. She also had her first therapy appointment later that day. It felt so strange, following orders from teachers, walking the dimly lit corridors again and attending classes like nothing had happened. She sat next to Tom Raines in her history class taught by an old Professor with pale skin who always seemed to be wearing cufflinks on a pressed shirt. He always looked like he'd just waltzed out of a ball. Tom looked paler than before, but had not changed physically: the neural processor required all growth to happen soon after it had been inserted. He glanced at her, his blond hair longer than before. He cautiously asked her "hey, how you doing?" Anna smiled a little and gave the same answer she'd given a hundred times before that day. "I'm fine thanks."  
Tom frowned. "No – really?"  
Anna sighed. "It is just a bit weird you know, being back. But I am okay thank you." Her tone discouraged further conversation. She couldn't afford any attachments in a world like this. Blackburn had said he wouldn't do anything unless he had to, but the problem was that in a place like this, it was unpredictable, he might decide that she was too much of a risk.

Tom shifted round in his seat to look at her properly. He scrutinised her face and asked in an almost mocking tone "so you spent almost a year and half with Blackburn then?" It was more of a statement than a question. "What's he like? Did you see what he's _really_ like?" Anna's heart stopped, it was just her and him in the world. Tom Raines was the only other person who knew the real James Blackburn. He had been strapped to the census device for two days if the rumours were to be believed. They had said that Blackburn had dug through his brain, churned up his memories to find something specific though no one knew quite what. Anna was thinking about what to say and how best to answer when they were interrupted by the Professor. "Raines, Faeilr if you have so kindly finished interrupting me I will continue! Faeilr, considering you haven't been present for fifteen months I would think you would want to make up missed time." It felt like a slap in the face. Anna was tempted to yell at him: "the reason I haven't been here is because I have been stranded with a psychopath!" but she used her usual defence mechanism, silence. She simply glared at him and spoke only when she absolutely had to for the rest of the lesson.

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What do you think?


	8. Programming

Next they had Programming. Nervous excitement, dread and fear were mixed in Anna's stomach as she took her seat. Her dreadlocked hair fell in front of her face and she sat as far away as possible but most seats were taken. Blackburn came in and immediately the chattering stopped. The keen faces couldn't stop looking at him, to see what he was like after being stranded for so long. Anna was used to the stares, whispers and impertinent questions but Blackburn quelled any thought of asking about the past year with a look. "Right." His voice loud. "As you know I have been away for… some time. So I am assuming that you all have been working hard at programming, considering how important it is, and are now better than the last time I taught you miserable bunch." The silence was deafening. He didn't seem annoyed, he had a smile on but Anna noted the tightening around the eyes as he glared at them, meaning he was furious. "Well I have been looking at the horrible excuse for work you lot have been doing and I have to say I am desperately hoping this is some awful joke. Because I tell myself there can be no way that some people I have meticulously taught, incompetent as they were, would have actually _decreased_ in knowledge in that amount of time!" He sounded angry. Genuinely angry. Anna felt he must truly have cared about the students learning to defend themselves from malicious viruses.

Anna was well used to such rants, having sat through many of these on Stow. She knew that he would repeat it another day and remembered the dread that had filled her whenever he'd begun such a tirade. Like three months into their stay at Stow when she'd been skinning a creature and he'd advanced on her, smiling his dangerous grin. "So I thought that was just hilarious girl, a really beautiful trick!" Anna had shrunk back and cast her eyes on her work, carefully fitting the knife under the skin, tense and worried. Blackburn had carried on regardless. "Yes I really loved that, pant-wettingly funny. I ask you to make sure the shelter tonight is half decent so we won't be soaked and cold, and you put the leaves on the top just two layers thick. I ask myself, why would this girl only put two layers on a shelter due to get blasted by a firehose worth of water and the only conclusion I can come up with is that you are thick as two short planks!" He had grabbed her arm to pull her towards him and forced her to look at him. "Can you not do _anything_ woman!" he'd griped, glaring at her whilst she frantically tried to make herself smaller and pull away. "Sorry Sir, I tried – I went to get more leaves but then you found the animal so I had to skin it" she'd pleaded, hating her voice, desperately trying to calm him down, feeling like an idiot. "I'll put more on. Once I've skinned this. Sir." On one such occasion she'd actually found herself snapping at him to "calm down" at which point he'd gripped the back of her neck painfully hard until she'd apologised. That had been rather unusual though. He wanted respect and he wasn't averse to violence but he didn't use it unless he felt it was necessary.

He also had absolutely no problem with humiliation. She remembered him forcing Tom into believing he was a dog for a while before Stow making him believe he was in love with the podium. He had given Tom's neural processor a virus which made him believe he was of canine origin. Such attacks were one of the reasons that Blackburn was so keen on them protecting themselves. He also had no gripes about embarrassing her on occasion, indeed he seemed to relish it. He'd taken great pleasure in watching her try to figure out a way to open a coconut or observe her picking up hot berries when they scattered to the floor. She'd tripped up so much on the island she'd lost count and he'd stopped looking, just called for her to hurry up.

He spent the lesson teaching and discovering (and correcting) what they'd been 'taught' by the 'experts' But Anna knew him better than anyone. His forehead was slightly furrowed, eyes narrowed in concentration, muscles tense which she knew was a sign of stress. He was worried about something. He asked people questions but did not ask her. Anna determinedly ignored him, trying to stay under his radar. She snorted when she realised that was exactly what she'd tried to do all that time ago. Like that had worked! But she focussed on the lesson as she did not want to be in danger of being victim to a virus. "Class dismissed." Relieved Anna got up with the others, to head to lunch but was interrupted by his voice: "Not so fast Faeilr! Faeilr, a word." Whispered mutterings were sprinkled around the room like droplets as the students swapped rumours and exchanged looks. But one by one they disappeared through the door, through which Anna desperately wanted to walk, until she and Blackburn were totally alone. She shuffled to his desk and he crossed to stand next to her on the same side, leaning on the dark panelled wood.

She looked at him expectantly but he didn't speak at first, just tapped the desk in an irritating rhythm. He was silent for a minute or so, then looked at her and began to speak. "Right, Faeilr, how you getting on?" Mutely she examined the question. Why would he ask that? Seriously – why did he care and what on earth did he expect? In the end she scowled and replied "I'm fine." Arching his eyebrow in a disbelieving manner he drew breath. "What have they asked you? What have you said?"  
"They asked where I was. How I survived. What it was like." She glared at him, hatred pouring through her veins. "Don't worry though, I didn't spill your little secrets, didn't give any _details_. So don't get your knickers in a twist!" Anna's tone was mocking, cruel and harsh to match his gruff voice. The tip of his mouth shifted up. "Watch your tone girl" he threatened. "Your processer is back online. You remember what we agreed? No census machines, no details." Anna snorted.  
" _Agreed_ , sure that's a pretty way of putting it." Her Professor pressed his mouth into a line and started tapping again. "Will you _stop_ that?" Anna snarled in frustration, rage filling her every pore. He was sat there, acting like it was all fine. He was acting like nothing had happened and like he hadn't slept by her side for a year, forced her to live with him, adhere to what he wanted. It was lunchtime and her stomach rumbled. Blackburn ignored it: they were used to hunger.

"Listen to me Anna, your counselling session is this afternoon. She is going to want to worm her way into your head. You are going to have to be very careful with what you say. Pretend to cooperate but stick to the story." He fixed her with a cold stare, two dark pits of unknown potential and capability. "You let _anything_ slip, let her think _anything_ is wrong and I can promise you, you will regret it. I will make your life hell."  
Anna flipped. "Make my life _hell?_ Seriously? Like it isn't already? You utter _imbecile_ , you twisted, evil monster!" She started swearing at him, screaming out expletives, quivering with rage. "You really think you can use that as a _threat_? My life wasn't great beforehand as you well know, but then I get to find out _exactly_ what you are capable of _James_." She spat. "You tied me up, you threatened me, and you've seen me _naked_! Held me against my will! Please do tell me how you can go worse! I'd love to know." She launched herself at him, yelling as her fists pounded flesh, nails scraping, kicking. She slapped his arm away and used the heel of her hand to hit as it was more effective than knuckles, jabbing at him hard and fast. She swung her elbow to his side, catching his wrist, and wriggled to escape from his grasp as he naturally defended himself and then began attacking. Anna was panting now whilst Blackburn gripped her arms and bodily tripped her up so she fell to the ground. The breath was knocked out of her as she was slammed down and he straddled her waist, pinning her down. His face in her's he spoke: "I know what this is about, of course I do."  
She snarled, struggling. "Know what this is about! What do you _think_ this is about? Homework?" Suddenly he pressed his face to her's, glaring down at her. She was pinned underneath him, struggling uselessly. Then, to her horror, his hand closed round her throat. It was the most uncomfortable, terrifying sensation she'd ever experienced. It was like being tickled but unable to get away. He squeezed hard, then loosened the pressure, keeping it relatively steady. "Listen here girl." His voice was deadly quiet. "You had better listen up because I won't repeat this. You are in danger. Big danger. From me." Anna struggled to breath, patting at his hand, wriggling desperately. "So you stick to the plan or I'll make you wish I'd done you on Stow." The way he said 'done you' left her with little doubt of what he meant, murder. "Now I've been looking into who was responsible for that unplanned sabbatical and it seems someone had decided to get me out of the way. I am still trying to figure out why and what damage was done whilst I was gone but I intend to find out."

Anna grabbed his little finger which was gripped around her neck and pulled it back, forcing him to let go of her throat to prevent his finger being snapped. She released him but he didn't continue his struggle. Instead he looked at her for a moment, both breathing heavily. "You know what you're gonna say at your session then? You gonna be smart and keep zip?" Anna nodded and he regarded her for a moment as if scrutinising her honesty. Suddenly he released her, getting off her and pulling her to her feet. "Thatta girl!"

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I am just gonna keep asking for reviews... just fyi


	9. Tom Raines

Tom Raines was crouched behind a desk, trying hard to keep his breaths quiet and minimise his presence. He'd been intrigued by what Blackburn would say to Anna. After all he still felt cold at the thought of being strapped to the census machine, puking on himself, shivering as Blackburn passively looked on, madness in his eyes, waiting to get that memory. He had seen the person Blackburn truly was and it was terrifying. He wanted to know if Anna had seen that too. After all, she had been stuck on a desert island with him for so long. Everyone was talking about it, but she wasn't giving any details and he had to admit, he was curious.

He watched as Blackburn started drumming his digits and asked how she was. He was surprised at the venom in her tone as she answered. Blackburn was a terrifying man, Tom didn't mind admitting it. He was someone you tried to spend as little time as possible with unless you were weird like Wyatt but even she was scared of him. But this girl was speaking to him like he was dirt on her shoe, a tone she surely would never have used in the lesson. "I didn't spill your little secrets, didn't give any _details._ So don't get your knickers in a twist!" her voice was low and spiteful, Tom couldn't believe the quiet girl from his class would talk like that to a professor, but then, it could be that she knew what he was really like. Perhaps she had seen the real Blackburn. But that was the other problem. What were the secrets she was going on about? His curiosity piqued, he listened on. He gathered Blackburn had threatened her judging by her indignation at the word 'agreed'.

This was definitely getting suspicious. Blackburn was openly threatening her now, something had clearly happened. Tom found that with secrets, when protecting one others started to build up around it until you had many that needed protecting. That was when the young lady on the other side of the room had plain lost it. She had literally screamed at Blackburn, losing all of the careful composure she had meticulously cultured, throwing away her mask. She was swearing at him, something Tom had done but only because he had an excellent reason. He certainly wouldn't have thought she would be capable of it. Then she called him 'James'. At that moment Tom decided she was a hero. It was such a bold, unheard of breach of etiquette. Then he started focussing on what she was saying. 'What you are capable of'. So she _had_ seen the man, who slipped so easily between his persona of gruff Professor and madman. Then his blood froze and he forced his hands into fists, clenching his teeth. He'd tied her up. He'd seen her naked. Tom didn't even want to know, didn't want to think about that. It was clear she'd been his prisoner. He felt sick. Then she began throwing herself at him, fighting tooth and claw until he was on top of her, crushing her to the ground.

"I know what this is about", it was almost like being back there, when Tom had fought against Blackburn, got angry at the way he'd been treated after the census machine. Tom had seen red that day. He wasn't sure if he should do something. He knew in his heart that he didn't stand a chance against Blackburn but the man had her pressed to the floor. Suddenly he heard a choking sound and peeked round to find, to his disgust, that Blackburn had his hand around her throat. "Big man, huh. Hurting a woman" he muttered. Blackburn was speaking again so Tom had to strain to hear him. He was straight up threatening to kill her! Tom was about to jump out when it stopped, the eye of the storm, as things calmed down so suddenly. He couldn't keep up with their twisting turning moods.

He could not process what he had seen. He thought back to the reason for Blackburn's interest in him. Tom, for a reason he did not understand, had the ability to interface with machines at will, even if they were not designed for such a thing. All he had to do was connect to a network and he could communicate with satellites, bypass security and firewalls and even get into the computers of the Russio-Chinese. No one else knew about this ability but Blackburn had discovered it when he had put Tom under the census machine after investigating him as a traitor for having an online girlfriend, Medusa, on the side of the enemy. He had spied a memory of Tom interfacing and became obsessed. More so when he thought Venegrov was behind it. He wasn't, though Venegrov was a worm of a man who had tried to manipulate Tom's processor to make him more polite and programmable. But Tom couldn't tell Blackburn the secret he had been hiding, that his friend Yuri, whose abilities in the Spire had been limited due to fear of him being a Russian spy, had had his processor fixed and abilities enabled by Wyatt who was sure he was not a spy. If Tom let anyone know about that then Wyatt and Yuri would end up in prison as traitors and he would endure what he had to in order to ensure that this would not happen.

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R to the E to the V to the E no hang on that's wrong. To the I to the E is that it? No? Maybe not. To the W. Go there!


	10. The Session

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Please review guys! LOVE reviews! Thanks! :D

Anna massaged her neck as she climbed the stairs to Olivia, the counsellor's office. She'd put on a high collared shirt to hide the marks. She was utterly shaken. She had been through so _so_ much and the temptation to talk to someone about it was almost impossible to resist. But she would resist it, she had to. The counsellor, Olivia, had dark curly hair and was rather too smiley for Anna's liking. She ushered her over to a seat and sat opposite, but not behind a desk and paper as some did. She had a clipboard next to her but was mainly focussed on giving her patient all her attention. Her brown eyes seemed to welcome people to say more, but they were also guarded. "So, Anna" she began, her voice soft and lilting. "I understand you've been on quite an… experience." It didn't make grammatical sense. Anna suspected she had been about to say 'adventure' and then thought better of it. She remained silent, ignoring the nonverbal expectation that she partake in the conversation, so Olivia continued. "I must say, I will not even pretend to be able to imagine what you have been through, but I do think it would help a lot if you talk about it. I understand some of the other plebes regard coming to me as a sign of weakness, but this is foolish nonsense Anna. You have been through what I can only presume is more than most of the people here put together and it is more than understandable that you would need some help. That is my job." She smiled again, the action so readily available, just behind whatever her passive face was, waiting to come out. Her words didn't make Anna feel any better. Suppose her 'experience' had not been so difficult? She didn't give the option. Not that this line of thought was relevant, Anna knew full well her time on Stow had been utterly horrific. She remained silent. It was her shield, her barrier, her friend. She could rely on silence.

Olivia's smile became slightly strained but she continued relentlessly. "I was thinking that sometimes simple is best and what might be helpful, is for you to just tell me what happened from the beginning, what life was like and how you are feeling, if you express all those things into words. Don't worry if you can't continue or you aren't sure you are adequately discussing everything. If there is anything you want to skip over please do, but feel free to tell me anything. You cannot shock me, and it is confidential unless I believe you have been put at risk or are in danger. Naturally on an island like that your life was surely at risk but it is more about… human actions that might put you in danger. Then I would pass it on to higher authorities." Anna was surprised she was being so honest, she would have assumed she would have tried to catch her unawares but it seemed the counsellor was being very upfront. "However you feel right now, even if you are unsure what you feel, is okay Anna. Any feelings you currently have are normal to feel, everyone reacts to difficult circumstances in different ways and each are valid. You are not twisted, evil or bad for feeling or not feeling certain things. Please try and remember that. Now I would like you to tell me what happened." It sounded like a request, but Anna suspected it was not one.

Her throat ached and her mouth was dry. She could, she could say it all. Tell her everything. But she wasn't sure whether the counsellor would believe her, or whether she would be able to do anything to protect her. She remained quiet, passing through the sea of awkwardness, ignoring the societal urge to speak, to be polite. After all, she had spent so long out of civilisation. Olivia pursed her lips as she regarded her, and jotted a couple of lines in shorthand on her clipboard. "I should warn you Anna, refusal to speak would indicate trauma and that something is wrong which could lead to an executive order to look at your memories using the census device". The woman grimaced in distaste for the machine. Anna's order of silence was shattered. She could not allow that to happen. They would cull every last memory out of her. No. she could deal with invasion of privacy in almost every way, but _no one_ could look inside her brain! She spoke.

"We were on a boat to Canva when the skyship blasted air at us and pushed me into the water. I was swept by the current and ended up on Stow, sorry – the island. It is what he called it." Olivia smiled, a well-practiced gesture, "go on."  
"Blackburn, I mean Professor Blackburn found me. He… helped me survive" oh the irony! "Then one day we saw a ship and signalled to it and they rescued us." She knew she would be pressed for more, that that wouldn't be enough. But Anna was not going to let this lady get anything that easily. Not without a fight. And Anna could fight hard. Olivia bit her lip, a surprisingly nervous gesture. Anna wondered suddenly how she must seem. A wild girl, taken from the comfort of Comco to live on a desert island. Ferocious, feral and fierce. All f words. This office woman must have never had to deal with this before. She was probably used to children from prestigious backgrounds, not difficult women with issues. "Thank you Anna, I wonder if you could go into more detail about what day to day life was like on the island", she hesitated. "What _Blackburn_ was like?" She didn't just seem curious, she seemed apprehensive, like she knew something. Anna noticed she had neglected to mention his title.

"I, I mean we" her stomach clenched at the collective pronoun, "um, survived by, you know. I would skin animals, he speared them. He knew how to make stills, you know for water. We slept in a shelter. I don't really know what you want me to say." Olivia suddenly looked nervous. She seemed to be deliberating how to say something. "Anna, I" she paused, "am wondering what it was like essentially _living_ with Professor Blackburn? What was he like? Did he, treat you alright?" Anna didn't really know what to say. "Wouldn't that be, ah, like blabbing on a teacher?" she asked, desperate to change the subject. "Oh no, it wouldn't, I would just like you to be completely honest. I do not want you to feel you shouldn't say anything. There is nothing you are not allowed to say." The older female scrutinised her face.

"Um, Blackburn, sorry Professor Blackburn is very good at survival skills, I mean he has a lot of them. He is the only reason I survived." With a shock Anna realised it was true. She would have died within a week or less without him. She remembered the time he had saved her life. She had been cutting her way through the thick rainforest with Blackburn behind her and she'd shrieked at the sight of a snake. By that time she had been on Stow for over a year and was well used to reptiles. But this one had moved quickly and surprised her. However it was also venomous. Utterly deadly. She recognised the pattern on its skin identifying it as lethal. She had gazed into its eyes, frozen, barely daring to breath as it had slithered along, circling its head. Blackburn had chuckled at her scream and peered round. He'd seen the animal an instantly become serious, snapping to attention. "Don't move he'd breathed, stepping slightly in front of her, between her and the snake. He'd gradually, gently but firmly nudged her back so she was moving away from the beast.

"He", Anna stopped, not wanting to say more than she had to. But Olivia leaned forward, a keen expression on her face. "Yes?"  
"Nothing."

So the therapy sessions continued. Three times a week of Olivia asking Anna how she felt, what she had done and how she was adjusting. Anna apparently was very 'resilient' but struggled with authority which was 'understandable' but very important at the Spire. She appeared 'rebellious' and frightened other pupils. She was not disruptive but teachers said she lacked motivation in many of the classes, she'd download the homework feed at night so it could go into her processor, but she had no enthusiasm in lessons. Anna had been gradually integrated back into the simulations, where the plebes connected the ports in their necks to the network, meaning they were in virtual reality and learned to fight and plan and be strategic. According to Olivia, Anna was not a team player which was something she had to work on. She apparently was too vicious at times, and they were concerned she might be remembering times from the island. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder was one of the diagnoses given to her.

Her lessons with Blackburn also carried on the same, with him largely ignoring her, focussing much of his shouting energy at Tom who had been acting up with his friend Vik, as usual. However, Anna noticed that the boy had been acting decidedly different around her. He often looked at her with a concerned expression on his face, a slight frown appearing. Wyatt seemed thrilled to have her mentor back, Blackburn regularly spent many evenings teaching her. Wyatt was a prodigy with computers and programming and so helped around the Spire. She was incredibly blunt, having no people skills whatsoever, so she and Anna had never got along, simply sifting uncomfortably alongside one another. Watching the two of them talking together, discussing various programming phenomenon stirred something dark in her. After all she had lived with and put up with the man, his shadow constantly looming over her but here he was with Wyatt acting all cosy and comfortable. If she only knew. If she only knew what he was really like she surely would not be leaning towards him, hands waving as she illustrated a point. No, she would be running away as fast as she could in the opposite direction Anna thought wryly.

In this programming lesson Blackburn was demonstrating how to use exosuits. This was something the plebes only learned when they had graduated to the next year, and technically Anna had not done so, having been "indisposed" for over a year. But the Spire had had a conference and decided she would be allowed to graduate with her peers, meaning this was her first time in the suits. Exosuits were large, skeletal metal cases you put on and they had something like 42 times as much strength as a human. As such they were dangerous. Anna's eyes lit up, approaching something other than apathy for the first time in months, as she sensed the power these suits held, the things she could do. But it turned out, actually navigating ground in them was incredibly difficult. Tom seemed to have no problems whatsoever, prancing about in them, something which drew jealous looks from across the room and, Anna noticed, seemed to fill Blackburn with apoplectic fury. No one else would have seen it, but she knew his face and moods so well she could easily read the subtle twinges and furrows. He raged at Tom, who shrugged everything off like water off a duck's back.

Blackburn marched over to her after the lesson. "Faeilr! What was that?" Anna stared at him, scowling, as alarm prickled under her skin. "These suits are not easy but I would expect someone at your level in the Spire to be able to do more than waddle around in it!" Anna was gobsmacked. He knew what she was like physically. She was clumsy but limber, able to recover. She was also incredibly fit as a necessity of life on Stow. He knew every muscle, every bone and edge to her, and was well aware that mentally she was quick witted and could be single-minded when she needed to. Yet this was very difficult. This was almost complete talent or skill, the suit was almost impossible to master. It was like trying to walk through water. She mustered up the ugliest look she could and sneered "I wonder, what you were like on _your_ first time? This isn't exactly instinctive you know!" She saw a nerve she could touch and hit it. "Unlike Tom Raines, he seems to have an intuitive gift for the robot suit, I bet even you would struggle to do that well. But he's the only one able to navigate these suits. They are hard. This is my first time. So leave me alone!" She knew Blackburn was angry about Tom's showing off in the suits but was trying not to draw attention to how good the boy was. She had just highlighted it, stuck feathers on it, and put the fact on a pedestal with flashing neon lights pointing at it. His eyes were black pits as he stared her down. "What was that Faeilr? What did you say to me?" His voice was white hot, his face inches from her's as he bent down to her level. As ever whenever there was any sort of interaction between her and Blackburn, the other students were silent, taking it all in to add to the rumours circulating the Spire. Trembling, Anna stood her ground. "You heard me". Her quiet, stubborn voice led to gasps.

"I will see you tonight in detention Faeilr", Blackburn growled. Anna rolled her eyes. As if that was a punishment after all she'd been through. For the first time since returning to the Spire, the hostility between the two of them was clearly visible, prompting endless haranguing and questioning from other students on what he was like, what Stow was like. Anna blanked them all, sinking into her well tried, natural defence of silence.


	11. Conflict

Another Programming lesson the next week led to further conflict. The class was sat bickering when he entered the room. "Disappointing work from most of you. Only a couple of you showed even slight promise. Enslow remains the only person capable of writing a satisfactory attack sequence for the prototype firewall. Faeilr I would have expected more of you, Raines I would have shredded your paper and used it as compost but I felt it was so bad, I should instead frame it as the ultimate example of What _Not_ to Do Unless You Want to Hold a Beacon to Yourself Saying Infect Me, I am an Interstella Trainee Fighter For Com-Co!" If looks could kill he'd be dead right now, Anna thought wryly, watching Tom mentally burn holes into the Professor with his eyes. Anna got the impression her teacher was not in a good mood. This would have been difficult to tell but to her it became clear as day as the lesson went on. He'd started over-pronouncing his 'rs', something he only did when stressed. He was tapping, an irritated gesture, and he rubbed his chin, betraying an emotion she hadn't quite worked out yet. She would need to tread carefully today.

She listened as Blackburn rambled on, she got the impression even he wasn't paying much attention to what he was saying. Normally she would have been on edge, trying to learn as much as she could so he could never control her using her processor. Wyatt had already helped her make an excellent firewall. But today her mind was not on it. She found her thoughts drifting, irrefutably back to Stow. Remembering fireside conversations, trying to capture, to glean even a slither of personal information about her guard. She'd asked him his favourite colour, his favourite location, his favourite food, even delving delicately into is past somewhat by asking where he had been born. She had never received an answer except a stony expression. But there had been that one time. Drunk on the beach. That one time when… she'd discovered more than she'd dreamed possible about him.

Anna was interrupted from her rambling thoughts by a large shadow blocking the sunlight as he towered over her. "Are you quite done fantasising Anna? I have a lesson to teach and you seemed to have absorbed none of it." Uh oh. Dangerous territory, especially if today was what she suspected it might be. "Sorry Sir, I'm listening." Normally she might have said something more belligerent. But not today. Not on this date. "You'd think you'd have learned to keep your pretty mouth shut and ears open girl." He seemed to be looking for a fight, seeking out conflict. "Your parents might have cast you aside like dead leaves but that doesn't mean you can daze off in a haze! This isn't your stupid Fantaynya you idiot girl" That was it! He'd struck a nerve. She'd told him about her parents, about the shouting, the apathy and indifference, and the mythical intrinsic world in which she hid herself, Fantaynya, back when she had been trying to convince him she could be trusted. She'd figured truth was better than a lie, but it was still incredibly personal stuff. She hadn't shared that magical world with anyone, only telling him in the desperate hope that he might not see her as such a threat. Anna was livid! If it was a fight he wanted it was a fight he was going to get! She swore at him. "You know you'd think you'd be used to people trying to escape you talking to them but apparently not! Figures though that you wouldn't want anything I do to be _childish._ To have hope or some imagination."

You could literally have heard a penny drop. Blackburn lowered his voice and said softly, "Watch your tongue Anna, we couldn't have you _tripping up_." His eyes bore into her's and it felt like a punch to the stomach. She knew what he was referring to. To everyone else it would sound like he was simply talking about tripping over her words. In fact he knew exactly what he was doing. He was talking about an incident that had occurred a few months back.

It had been one of his more human moments. He'd started staring at the horizon, scanning it endlessly, for hours on end when they really didn't have time for it. He'd become obsessive, waiting fruitlessly for rescue. She understood the impulse of course, hope. But she'd repressed it months ago, pushed the hope to the back of her mind and simply focussed on what she was doing in the present. "Blackburn, _sir",_ (she'd used the title for the first time in a long time), "we have to reset the stills. Come on!" he'd ignored her for a long moment and then, still focussed on the horizon, murmured "do you think we'll ever be rescued?" She'd stood stock still, her brain already calculating how she might be able to use this uncharacteristic expression of vulnerability to her advantage. "I don't know. I'd like to be alive and not die of thirst before that happens. Then I can kill you and get on that boat."

He'd smirked at that, eyes still far away. "There is no escape. There never was." Normally such a statement from the man would have had her backing to the shelter of the trees to break down, but this time was different. He didn't seem to have been talking to her, more to himself. Anna surmised he couldn't have been talking about her as he continued: "No matter how far you run, they follow you. You can't escape." Hesitantly, wondering if she was making a huge mistake Anna asked whom 'they' were. The look he'd shot at her had frozen her blood, his voice curt. "Not 'they', not _people._ People couldn't find me. Not ever. I meant actions. Guilt." He'd seemed to snap out of his trance and had grabbed her arm to drag her towards the stills. "Gettof! I can walk! Stay away from me!" They'd carried on, their routine as normal albeit slightly delayed due to his turn earlier that day, meaning they were doing everything a few hours later. As a result it had been dark by the time Anna had begun cooking dinner.

She'd mixed the seafood and seaweed into a rudimentary stew and walked a while to the small clearing where the berries they had found the other day grew. She hadn't had a chance to explore it yet other than a handful of berries when they had first found it. They had been dark purple and she had fed a few to a scavenging animal. It wasn't foolproof but it could help determine if they were poisonous. She had then tried some and felt fine so was craving some more now. In the utter pitch black of the canopy she couldn't see. It was stupid really, she knew that. But Blackburn had been acting so weird and she'd needed to get away.

In that jungle it wasn't dark. It was pitch black. And as her hand had brushed the berries she had very stupidly assumed they were all the same ones she had tried the time before. But the berries she had inadvertently picked were in fact yellow and white and therefore likely to be poisonous. Anna remembered eating them on the way back to camp, feeling somewhat lighter as she had. She'd then begun feeling woozy, almost drunk and slightly dizzy. Blackburn had rounded on her immediately. "Where were you girl? You realise it is pitch black out there? Even you cannot _possibly_ that stupid!" She'd giggled at his beard and thought he looked like a rather large bear. "Ssh, don't be naughty Mr scary Blackburn sir. You mustn't shout it is very rude" she'd slurred, stressing the wrong syllables as she'd tipped into him. He'd caught her and immediately examined her eyes, the way the pupils were dilated and she was sweating. "Were you bitten, what's wrong?" He'd noticed a couple of berries crushed on her hands. "Oh for crying out loud girl, you idiot." The rest of that night had been a humiliating affair. Anna didn't remember all of it but she did remember telling him off a lot for "not giving her proper clothes," informing him that she was "absolutely terrified" of him because she "really really really didn't want to die", it was her "least favourite thing to do" and she thought he had "no manners". She'd then let him know that her parents wouldn't approve of him or her living conditions let alone her clothing. She'd giggled hysterically at that and suddenly become fascinated by the two faint scars on his cheek, tracing them with her fingers. She dimly remembered Blackburn holding her still so she didn't hurt herself as she thrashed in a sudden rage, demanding anything she could possibly think of.

Then came the worst bit, the bit she had desperately hoped was a nightmare but knew wasn't. She'd told him "you know Jamesy, you, you should take your top off more." He'd raised his eyebrows and she'd carried on. "You know, if I am all alone on this island I want you to feel as, as vul-nerrrr-able as me and me looking at some abs would help." She'd felt she'd made a good speech. "Even if they are just yours. I have to go to sleep now but I don't want to sleep next to you because you are a boy and dirty and mean and you shout at me." She'd actually wagged her finger at the guy. "Naughty Blackburn, not cool dude. Aaaand you tie me up which is kinda illegal. When I get back I'm gonna tell all the police about you and they will put you in jail. You'd look good in orange. Scary but it would suit you." And that was just what Anna remembered. She'd spilled secrets that night, said awful things about him and told him she wasn't going to keep quiet. It had been horrendous. And now he was reminding her of it.

Back in the classroom Anna saw red. "At least when I stop making sense and lose my mind I don't affect anyone else! At least when I drift off I don't have to think about Roanoke!"

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	12. Roanoke

Madness entered his eyes. He strode towards her and she was sure he was going to hit her. He seemed to catch himself, keeping himself in check with the fury simmering just under the surface. She knew what day it was. She had gone too far. Far too far. She had gone so past the line she could no longer see it. But she couldn't talk now, not with the class murmuring in confusion. "I'll see you in detention after class Faeilr" his eyes promised death. He continued with the class as if nothing had happened but she didn't move a muscle, just stared blankly at her desk, her stomach churning in terror. He was going to murder her.

The class ended but Anna barely noticed, she remained at her desk, staring at the wood, blocking out the noise surrounding her. It was the last lesson of the day meaning now was her detention. She was alone with Blackburn. He slowly walked over and locked the door, shutting out any noise from outside and then, taking his time, stepped over to her. This time he did hit her, his fist clashing into her cheek, fury making him forget about what people would think. Maybe after this 'detention' it would no longer matter. Her head snapped back and she tried to scramble away. He grabbed the scruff of her neck and pressed her against the wall, his face contorted in anger as he spoke to her. "What were you thinking? How dare you mention that, that name! On today of all days." He swore at her displaying an impressive collection of curse words as he slammed her forward and back so she hit her head on the wall over and over. She was dizzy and she tasted blood but he didn't seem to notice, his grip on her shoulders painfully tight. "Get away from me!" she shoved her knee into his groin and tried to twist away as he bent over in pain. But his grip on her was too firm and he held onto her arm like an iron bolt. However the kick seemed to have brought him more to his senses. They were both panting and she tried to block him as he reached out to touch the bruise on her cheek with surprisingly gentle fingers.

"Are you okay?" She didn't reply, just kept incredibly still as he examined the wound on the crown of her head where he'd banged it on the wall. He was like a predator, unpredictable and she barely dared to breathe in case she provoked him. But he released her and walked over to his desk to pull out a first aid kit. She blanched as he took out the needle and thread and tried to run for the door but he grabbed her and shoved her into a seat. "You need stitches on that cut on your head and you sure as hell aren't going to the infirmary for them. Your hair will cover them so people won't see but the infirmary will ask questions. I'll do it." He gave her some painkillers and his water glass, bading her to drink from it and swallow them. With shaking hands she did, the adrenaline ceasing, meaning her aches and pains started coming back in full force until the pills kicked in to dull the pain. As he worked, stitching the wound Anna found herself thinking about Roanoke, what had happened all those years ago. It was the anniversary today she knew, which was why she had been so stupid to rise up to him when he'd provoked her.

That night on the island, had been the first night trying Anna's experimental brew. The night she'd learned more about the man that she could have imagined. She'd made it out of coconuts, fermenting them and using stills to create a sort of Malibu type alcoholic concoction. As far as she knew it was very strong. She'd wanted to have something to do, to look forward to. Life was busy but dreary on Stow and she'd hoped to be able to have something new to try. So that night they had sipped on the alcohol, then gulped, drinking steadily more and more. She knew it was a mistake, a bad idea but the thought of being able to forget her troubles had been too strong. She should have got Blackburn drunk and made a run for it or something but shockingly she hadn't even thought about it, so eager was she to just have a night where there might be some laughter in the air. Of course alcohol didn't make problems go away, but at that point Anna no longer cared about possible dependency or being safe, she'd just wanted some escape.

So they had begun talking. About stupid things like the colour of the shells she had found, how stupid the hobby of collecting shells was, and what they missed most about the world they were excluded from. "I miss cheese, you know, cheese and pasta, cheese burgers, lasagne, anything with cheese in it" she'd told him dreamily, looking at the stars, her guard down for the first time in months. Apart from her drug-addled night two weeks before.  
"Cheese? Out of all the things in the world and you pick cheese. I've no idea how you ever made it into Com-co. Not books, music, films, internet, family. Nope Anna Faeilr is fine without any of these things. All she needs to keep her happy is a block of fermented milk. Get the girl some cheddar. Not to worry, we can milk that panther later, make a nice Gouda." She'd scowled at him, kicking him jokingly, forgetting, for once, who he was. "Fine then, what do _you_ miss?"  
His eyes had appeared soft and far away and for once unguarded as he'd gazed at the stars, lying down in the sand. "I miss not having to listen to you witter on. The bliss of those days shut off in the computer lab, programming. Computers don't blather on you know, they don't ask stupid questions. They are reliable, take orders and are completely readable."  
"I'm not readable?"  
He'd glanced at her, twisting his head to the side in order to do so whilst lying down. "You are an enigma. Completely impossible." She'd grinned at that. Impossible was good in her books.

"How did you get into Com-Co? What did you do to merit a place? All you plebes seem utterly ordinary to me, I can never fathom how any of you lot are seen as the cream of the crop. Though _you_ have resilience and strong survival instinct which is good. You wouldn't have survived here without it."  
"My parents. Mum's always working and Dad's a genius in other aspects, has hobbies and things like that. But they sent me to all these boarding schools, nannies and such. I never spent any time with them" her voice became bitter, "but at least my grades were good so they were happy." She scowled. "I'm a good observer, I listen, and notice things other people don't." She had his full attention now.  
"So one day at one of the boarding schools I notice my teacher isn't on the ball. She's got these bags under her eyes and she's stricter with the punishments. I see that another girl in my class didn't do her nails, which isn't normal for her, and she's the daughter of the headmaster. The teachers start teaching us stuff as normal but they slip in sentences of discontent like "we have freedom of speech, as long as it fits in with the corporations". Stuff like that. The school was closing down and they were getting more anxious and careless in their words. They started to talk a bit more about terrorism and I started to realise that not everything I had been taught was gospel truth. That conspiracy theorists maybe were not all nut jobs. So I started researching things. I tried to cover my tracks but only to an extent, I didn't really think they'd do anything. After all we are a democracy and all, and we are civilised, no war and all that". Blackburn had snorted at that and taken another swig. Anna had sobered up quite a lot during her speech and drunk more as well.

"So I was stupid. I posted stuff, about the Middle East, the monopolisation of companies, the ownership of food and water onto social media sites. I followed blogs and I had a vlog for a bit. It seemed harmless but you know how it is when you want the truth, you become sort of consumed by it." He'd stared at her then, hands running through his hair, recognising the truth of what she said.  
"Anyway, I um, started getting a bit too much attention. Turns out the daughter of a rich bank woman is someone people think is rational, someone they might actually listen to. I'd ignored my online friends when they'd warned me to be careful, thought it was fine, I have human rights. I was an idiot." Her voice started to slur again as the drink renewed its hold. "In the end they tried to arrest me on some stupid charge of insulting the government and spreading discontent, a terrorist charge." She'd smiled wryly. "But I got publicity and argued my case pretty well. They could've shut me down, but not too easily. My parents had practically disowned me for hurting their precious reputations but they were important people. The charges were dropped. So I was offered a job here instead. Probably to keep me quiet and out of the way but, the way I see it, keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." She'd yawned.

"You moron girl, they own you now do you see that? You have a computer inside your head child – they can do anything they want!"  
Anna had sighed, "Not if my programming is good enough. I finish this contract and I can get the word out. But I wasn't gonna uncover anything looking at blogs and leaks on the web, so I came to the heart of it all." She'd muttered grimly, "not that it matters now anyway."  
He'd smirked, "so you thought you could take the corporations on, thatta girl. Idiotic but admirable." She'd stuck her tongue out at him. It was strange how the alcohol took away certain boundaries and barriers. Made them more comfortable around each other.

"So… what about you? What was all that about guilt following you around the other week?" she'd asked, the drink making her bold. That was when the mood had changed. It had been relatively light and subtle but suddenly the air had seemed to become heavier. "It doesn't matter" he'd snapped at her, and a bolt of anxiety had shot through her. "Not anymore." So they'd lain there in silence, swigging more of the coconut concoction until Blackburn had broken it. "It was in Roanoke. They'd tried to 'cure' me, but I escaped from Vengerov and his men." The way he spoke the name _Vengerov_ had made her shiver at the venom in his voice. "I disappeared, off the grid, took my wife and kids from right under their stupid, pompous, arrogant noses." Anna had gaped at him. She'd never known he had a family. Grimly he continued. "It was…. horrible. I was obsessive, paranoid and Schizophrenic. I was constantly vigilant against Vengerov's men. It was a toll on my family I know. My wife, she was good to me, helped me. But it was hard for her, the kids couldn't leave, the two boys, a year apart. They needed space, space to run."

He'd taken a huge, shuddering breath at that point. "Then, the day came. The wife was… afraid of me. She'd stuck with me the whole time, for years, but it was too much and so she tipped them off," his voice broke. Anna had been frozen, not daring to move in case she broke his spiel. "They sent in troops to get the boys out. Esme, she stayed with me when it happened. Took them in the car and" he'd paused and she had been shocked to see tears spilling from his eyes. He must've been really drunk she'd thought. "I'd planted mines around the house. I was terrified they would come for my family, terrified he'd use them to get to me! The ruthlessness of that man you have _no idea!_ But the car, with the boys in, it went over a mine and" he had paused then and whispered, "they were gone". Anna had had the feeling this was the first time he'd told anyone about it.

They had stayed in silence for a long while after that, each to their own thoughts. They'd drunk some more, and Anna had started to sing, quietly at first and then louder as her confidence grew. It was a wild song, tuneful but erratic, unpredictable as the wind with nonsense lyrics and words switched as she felt it flow. He'd chuckled, "I didn't know you could sing girl."  
"You'd be surprised what I can do."  
"I don't want to know. Doesn't bear thinking about."  
"Jerk!"  
"Stupid girl."

He'd turned to her then, with a strange expression on his scarred face. His eyes, woozy and unfocussed before had suddenly became clear. His hand, rough and large had gently caressed her face. Mind addled with hooch Anna had grinned and hesitantly, furtively leaned forward to kiss him. His badly shorn stubble had scratched her, but in that moment she hadn't cared. She wouldn't have noticed if a ship had arrived right then. His hands had stroked her cheek, rubbing his thumb. He had pulled back, eyes searching her's. "I shouldn't be doing this" he'd croaked. "I'm a professor, a Lieutenant. Shouldn't be doing this."

He'd drawn breath and pulled her back towards him, forcibly titling her head up by the chin, using his hand, but gently caressing her as he crushed his lips to her's. It had felt ethereal, time had slowed and she had felt every breath of wind, every touch, every point of heated contact. Yet it had also felt very very real. Anna had pulled back and grinned, her vision blurring slightly from drink as she'd slid her cool hand under his shirt. In return he had snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her towards him so she had been practically on top of his lap, her legs framing his sides. He had run his hand through her thick hair, and titled his head to kiss her again. She didn't know how long they had remained like that. Time had stilled, throbbing on erratically but largely it had ceased to exist as she took in the passionate embraces, the comfort of human touch and the ability to relax, to get under the skin of this man for once. "You are so beautiful" he'd muttered. She knew it wasn't true. She changed with the lights of the seasons, sometimes seeing herself as plain, other times ugly and on rare occasions, very pretty. But she'd accepted the compliment nevertheless, blushing down. He'd kissed her again quickly, then longingly. He'd then repeated what he had said before, his eyes darting downwards. "I shouldn't be doing this."

"Yeah well you shouldn't be doing a lot of things, like tying me up, threatening me either but you do" she'd murmured absentmindedly. He'd recoiled like he'd been struck and reality had come flooding back to her. Adrenaline had helped clear her head as she'd scrambled away. They'd spent the rest of that night ignoring one another and the next day had reached an unspoken agreement not to speak of it. Too many secrets had been shared. It had been due to the drink, she knew that. It had been a moment of weakness, it didn't really mean anything she knew that. She still loathed him and he her. But they'd been alone on Stow for so long, she'd needed some contact. That was all.

Back in the present Blackburn had finished the stitches. "Sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned it, Roanoke. It was insensitive." Anna found herself admitting that one small transgression. The rest of the things she'd said she had no regrets about. "Put some make up on that bruise girl." He left the room.

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Ok so one of my favourite chapters - but what I really want to know is what did YOU, the home viewer, the reader, think?


	13. Confession

A couple of days later Anna was back at her counselling session. She'd given Olivia nothing new, being short with her answers. "Okay Anna I am going to be honest with you. I have had, dealings, with Professor Blackburn before." Months after being rescued from Stow and they had made precisely no 'progress'. Anna never went into details. Sometimes she enjoyed spinning ridiculous stories to watch Olivia hook on to them, and then her lips tighten with bitterness as she realised she had been taken for a ride. Olivia seemed to be trying a different tack today. "Anna, he and I do not exactly see eye to eye and the last thing I can see him as is a nurturing figure. I don't know if you have heard about what happened but a couple of years ago another pupil was, for want of a better word, accosted under Blackburn's supervision. The good Professor was frankly rather brutal and I believe I saw a very different side of him then. I cannot believe that you spent the amount of time you have with him and have not seen this. Please Anna, tell me, do you know what I mean?" Anna stared at her. This was it, this was the brink. She could tell her, spill everything, it was on the tip of her tongue. But she wouldn't, she knew that. Maybe one day she would get incredibly drunk, or be so full of tears she would spill it all, she desperately wanted to tell her, but she couldn't. There was too much at risk. Anna's worst fear was that she would never tell. That in ten years' time she would still have these secrets, weighing her down. Unable to say a thing.

A thought struck her. Olivia had said Blackburn had accosted a pupil. She could only be talking about Tom Raines! She was there! She knew. That side of him, she had seen it. Importantly, she would believe her and could protect her! She had to say _something_. "Well he isn't, I mean, he isn't the friendliest of people, that's for sure. He believes ends justify the means and everything else is a distraction. But he isn't physically cruel for the sake of it, emotionally maybe but otherwise he has a reason for things." Her breath stopped, reality flooding back to her as she realised what she had said. She had gone too far, revealed too much! How could she think she could ever tell Olivia about it? What had she been thinking? In desperation Anna tried to back track. "Sorry I meant he um, isn't always emotionally available. We were there for a long time and we never talked about feelings or whatever. That was all I meant. I shouldn't have used the word cruel, sorry I am really tired, I didn't really know what I was saying." Anna was on edge, using her usual excuse of being tired to divert suspicion. Most people would have accepted it but not Olivia. At first Anna had almost hoped that she would let something slip and Olivia would not believe excuses and would pursue her until the truth came out. But in that moment, when it was actually happening, Anna would have given almost anything in the world to take back her words and quell suspicion. But Olivia kept pressing. Anna, seeming increasingly dubious and shifty as she fought to undo the damage her words had done, refusing to answer questions ("what do you mean he was emotionally cruel?" "What did he do in order to reach his ends?"), ended up looking incredibly guilty. She knew there was no way out of this line of questioning. In the end the tears won out and she sobbed out, in short sharp breaths, everything. The murder, the humiliation.

At the end of it Anna shrank back, trying to distance herself from what she had just done. To escape from reality for even just a second. Olivia's skin was pale, a horrified pallor by the time Anna had finished talking in between her sporadic tears. "Right, um Anna I am so sorry" she uttered, her voice a breath in a storm. "I had no idea." Suddenly she almost shook herself and straightened. "We need to think about what we are going to do about this. We can't go to Marsh, he's in Blackburn's pocket. He wouldn't intervene when Tom was strapped to that machine, we can't count on him to do so now."

She paused for breath. "Let me think about this, about what is best to do. You did the right thing. Legally you must understand, I am obligated to protect you and tell the authorities but with a situation like this I think I need to think about how best to do that. I'm afraid I cannot say nothing now even if you change your mind. But don't worry, you will be safe from that monster – and you did the right thing in coming to me."

Anna felt sick. Physically nauseous. She had made a horrible mistake. He would kill her. She tried to take it all back, say it was a joke, say anything and everything to make Olivia not tell. She said she would deny it, had begged and pleaded, a knot forming in her stomach. She would have given anything to go back in time an hour and not tell her a thing. But she couldn't. It was over. Olivia knew and she was very firm. Whether Anna denied it or not there would be an investigation and the truth would come out. Olivia had more trust in the system than Anna. She left the room, eyes rubbed raw with tears as she made her way towards the room she shared with Daisy.

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	14. Consequences

Please review guys - love your reviews! Thank you!  
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Two days passed. She felt ill with worry, barely eating and tried to avoid people. She had her next therapy session scheduled for later that day and was apprehensive about what Olivia would say. She knocked at the office door, waiting to be let in. General Marsh walked up, his badges gleaming under the bright lights. "Ah Faeilr, a word please?" He unlocked the door to Olivia's office which had, to her surprise, been stripped of the personal effects. "Please, take a seat Faeilr." He gestured to the comfortable leather chair and nonplussed, she did so. "I am afraid I have some bad news, I was unsure of how to talk to you about it. I know this will come as a shock, but Olivia was found dead in her home this morning." Anna gaped at him. "It seems she was electrocuted due catastrophic to equipment failure, although the autopsy report cannot rule anything out yet. I am so sorry." Her vision tunnelled, her breath seemed to have stopped, time was moving like treacle, she was underwater, suffocating. "No, no no!"  
Anna ran out of the room, ignoring General Marsh's feet pattering after her, she headed for the exit. She had to get out of the Spire. Now. Before it was too late!

Bam! She slammed into a burly figure positioned by the door leading to the nearest exist. She gasped, "you!" Blackburn looked grim, he had dark shadows under his eyes.  
"Faeilr stop!" General Marsh's panicked shouts made her look back.  
"It's alright General" Blackburn said, "I'll take it from here." He half dragged her round the corner, away from the General, towards his laboratory. Two of his soldiers were waiting, out of the General's line of sight. They received startled stares from other plebes but no one questioned it as she was marched through the Spire towards the laboratory. Tom's friend Vik stood to watch as Blackburn and two of his soldiers took her through. She started shouting, her brain was barely functioning. She was in panic mode, struggling but Blackburn had his soldiers tighten their hold. "She needs to be restrained, she is getting hysterical. I knew the General should have made provisions before telling her about the counsellor – she is unstable!" Blackburn causally acted everything out. He hit the right pitch, the correct tone of urgency needed to convince the soldiers she needed to be strapped down, her arms pinned. To ensure they wouldn't listen to any of her garbled words. She was after all, crazy.

The soldiers left the laboratory at Blackburn's command. "I'll talk to her, I've been there. Let me calm her down and tell General Marsh to come by later. I don't want to be disturbed, I know what this is like, this madness. You can't have people interrupting." Despite her protests, the soldiers left and Blackburn carefully locked the door. He turned to her, his mask slipping. "What did you do Faeilr?" his voice was almost deadpan but betrayed anger. "You told her everything. Everything! You signed her death warrant girl!" This was a nightmare, it had to be a nightmare. She struggled against the restraints. "Let me go! You murderer! You killed her!"

He looked down at her. He remained silent against her rants. "You can't do this! They'll know if you hurt me! Let me go! You killed her! You killed her!" But she wasn't going to quieten down or run out steam as he hoped. She would keep at it. Eventually he rolled his eyes and pushed his hand down on her mouth, silencing her. "You want to know how I know?" his quiet tone was dangerous. "I knew you couldn't be trusted. I knew it was risky to let you go to a counselling session, with the people who will prise any valued information from your mind. So I planted bugs and a video camera in her office. Well it was all fine and dandy until two days ago when you decided to spill the beans." Anna tried to bite him but his hand was too broad. "You just couldn't stay quiet could you girl? You couldn't keep that overly large mouth shut. Well I warned you what would happen. I'm afraid Olivia had a nasty accident with her toaster this morning. It was very easy, she had poor security. Any investigation will show a freak accident: a completely non-suspicious albeit rare and unpreventable event. Such a shame, she was about to file papers on that meeting too, papers that have now been burned. Please don't think anyone is going to come here and rescue you. You have been branded as mad, mentally ill and believe me, I know how people view so called 'crazies'. I'm sorry you didn't listen to me. I'm sorry that this is necessary." He looked at her, his eyes filled with something like regret as he lifted his keyboard to send a catastrophic virus to her processor.

But he was stopped by her firewall. It was good, more than good it was excellent. Anna wasn't stupid. She had spent months absorbing every nugget of information in programming and elsewhere and focussed much of her energy building a firewall good enough to withstand him. She'd guessed this day would come and had prepared. But she had not counted on what he did next. He bit his lip as it failed and reached to his draw for a metal ball. She didn't know what it was but could bet it was not good news. There was a flash like a grenade and Anna felt a sharp pain sear through her skull, shaking her body into a fit. She blacked out for a few moments and when she came to she noticed that Blackburn too seemed to have fallen over. He dusted himself off. Something was different, she was too shaken to put her finger on it but something was very wrong. "That machine just disabled your neural processor for up to four hours. And mine. I can't have you tipping anyone off via netsend. I couldn't rely on simply being able to trigger a neurological meltdown in your processor, so I kept this gadget, just in case. Nothing's ever easy." Anna cringed as he echoed the exact words he had uttered just before killing Heather.

"What did you plan to do?"" she sneered, her voice hard as ice but like fire in its devastation. "You have just taken me down here, in full view of everyone. If I suddenly turned up dead you would be under immediate investigation. Then they would put _you_ under the census machine!" He furrowed his brow. "You really think I didn't think of that Anna? You think I hadn't prepared for this eventuality? That I hadn't exhausted every possible option when I found out what you had said to the counsellor two days ago?" Her hope was fading, replaced by desperation. "I had you declared mentally unfit two days ago. I suggested to General Marsh that nothing should be said yet, that it would be best to let Olivia talk to you before an intervention could be carried out. It is not without the bounds of possibility that some of your instability has come as a result of a fault in your processor, which is what the autopsy would have shown had my programme penetrated your firewall. I am impressed by the way, did you have help? I was unaware you could be this competent at programming."

"So you were going to kill me? What a surprise. And now what? Now. What?" she tugged at the restraints and tried to kick out at him but he just sidestepped the blow and came closer towards her head. "Now I have to go to Plan B. Without a functioning processor this will be more difficult. An electrocution won't do it, not with the counsellor gone the same way. The best thing then would be an anonymous attack from a machine, inexplicable, but it would be far too suspicious and there isn't time to reprogramme any drones." To her surprise he undid her straps, freeing her. She leapt to her feet, knowing it would be pointless to try the door and backed away from him. "So. That just leaves self-defence. Crude but effective." She didn't understand, what on Earth did he mean? He was going to kill her and pretend it was self-defence? She circled him, keeping two metres away. "They won't buy it Blackburn! You are a solider, there are a million ways to incapacitate someone without killing them." He barked a harsh laugh.

"Oh but in this case Anna I'm afraid I had no choice!" He pulled out a small device from his pocket. "You had a trigger hidden on you, one that would blow out all neuroprocessers in the building! No one could guess your reasons but you have been very secretive lately, very odd. You'd been working on it for some time in secret and the news of the counseller's death meant you decided to use it!" He held out a small piece of equipment. "Plan B. I had to stop you, I didn't have time to try a non-lethal method. And they won't notice, you were not so useful to them anyway. They can pass on your processor to a new recruit after you are dead. I am too valuable to the Spire to warrant a full investigation. It's over Miss Faeilr." With that he launched himself at her, tackling her to the ground. She tried to kick him but he shoved his legs between her's so she couldn't. With one hand he pinned her arms together above her head and with the other he reached for her throat. He squeezed slowly but hard so as not to make it look like he'd purposefully killed her, more like an accident having gone too far.

Anna's vision blackened at the edges, spots appearing in front of her eyes as her air was cut off. She tried to tighten her muscles in her neck to stop her windpipe being crushed but it wasn't terribly effective. She was struggling with all her might but getting weaker with every passing second, staring into those terrible black eyes. In her half addled mind she decided to pretend to be unconscious hoping he would let go, but hard as that was, he was aiming for death, a more permanent state, so he brushed his fingers round her neck slightly, feeling for a pulse. As that ploy had not worked Anna went back to fighting, trying to wriggle out from under him, to head-butt him, anything. This was it. It was happening. She would not survive this. His face screwed up in exertion, his eyes looking pitilessly down at her was the last thing she saw.

She awoke, to her utter amazement, to someone kissing her. Not kissing, pressing their lips to her and breathing hot air into her. Groggily she opened her eyes and found to her astonishment that it was Blackburn. Her head felt like it had been split in two and her throat felt so strangled she was sure there would be hand-like bruises there. She took a shuddering breath, coughing and sat up, as he got off her. Distantly she heard him say "see, she's alive" to someone unknown but as her vision cleared she could see more. The remains of their fight were evident but it seemed there had been more destruction than she had realised. A chair was broken as if it had been bashed on someone's back, she didn't remember doing that. Then she realised the door was unlocked and slightly ajar, and Tom Raines stood, panting in the corner, hatred in his eyes. His knuckles were smeared with blood and he looked like he'd come off worse in the fight although Blackburn did have a tear in his otherwise immaculate uniform and a cut on his face where Tom's fist had struck him. "You alright Anna?" Tom called, not taking his eyes off Blackburn for a second.  
She coughed. "Yeah, yeah I think so. What's happening, what's going on?"

Her mind was fuzzy and she wasn't thinking clearly but she obeyed as Blackburn reached for a stool and told her to sit. Tom started to speak. "I knew there was a lot of weird stuff going on between you two. When Vik mentioned you'd been taken down by soldiers to his lab I knew something was going down." He spat. "I didn't realise he was gonna try and kill you! I bypassed the lock on the door and got him off you, told him if he didn't resuscitate you I was gonna leave right now, go to Vengerov and send a message via netsend telling everyone what he'd done. He can't stop me, his processor's disabled." Anna was utterly confused. Why hadn't Blackburn just got him too? She asked "how did you bypass the locks?" Tom and Blackburn exchanged significant, hostile glances and Tom continued. "So you see, you touch her, you do _anything_ to her and I am outta here Blackburn. And don't you dare try and erase this from my memory! You can't touch me now or I'll netsend for help and as soon as I'm out of this room I'm going to plant a memory reversal virus into a file you'll never find, and it will automatically download into my processor unless I type in a code. And you know I could do it too!" Anna had never seen the boy look so fierce, so strong. He said every word as if he meant it, telling them it was no bluff.

Blackburn rubbed his hand over his face, calculating. After a long moment he came close to Anna who darted back, but he caught her waist and tilted so she was in front of him. "Alright Raines, you got me. But just remember, you do as I say or I will gut her bow to stern." The two men glared at each other. Then he seemed to remember she was in fact present. He turned to her. "And you! You just keep it at the forefront of your mind that if I ever suspect anything of you again, I'll go through with it. He won't be able to save you if that happens." Anna gulped and nodded. Horror and relief were simultaneously flooding her body. She had survived, she was okay. It was incredible, a possibility that could not have been entertained an hour ago. On shaking legs, she made her way to the door. Tom went to support her but Blackburn called him back and they began talking in low voices, hostility crackling in the air between them. It wasn't until later when she had collapsed on her bunk that she realised what her situation was. Before it had been her actions that could get her killed, now it was Tom Raines'. She was a hostage.


	15. Confidence

She passed Blackburn in the corridor the next day, as she made her way to lessons and they shared a look. It was a significant exchange. He narrowed his dark eyes at her, she held his gaze. Then someone shoved past her and it was over.

Anna pulled her uniform right up to her neck to cover the finger marks that glowed purple against her skin. They had faded slightly in the last three days but it was still imperative they were not seen. She had been summoned to Blackburn's office and was frankly dreading it. She wound her way down and hesitating slightly, knocked on the door. He opened it and gestured for her to enter. "Ah, Faeilr you're here, good." She scanned the room nervously. It was the first time she had seen him since their encounter three days before and she was jumpy. All that filled her head were his dark eyes and his fingers tightening, tightening around her throat, squeezing out the air, his body crushing her. BAM! She crashed down, noticing with shock that she had tried to back away towards the door, instinct causing her to flee. Her knee was scraped and her uniform ripped, revealing the dark handprints on the soft skin of her neck. He simply raised his eyebrow. Her body was in full flight mode, her heart racing, hands sweating, adrenaline coursing through her like molten gold. Her face flushed, she felt embarrassed, she didn't want him to know the effect he had on her.

"Why did you want me Sir?" she muttered, still blushing.  
"Faeilr, you have become a burden to me, you know that? You are a risk and I am not the sort of man who tolerates them. So here is what we are going to do." He leaned forward. "You are going to do whatever I tell you to do. You will, as usual, not tell a soul about what has happened. You will come here whenever I need you. You will not leave the Spire without my permission" he smirked, "don't worry, you can still leave with the other Plebes but you have to let me know beforehand. I've set up a secure channel on netsend so you can message me". She glared at him, appalled. He was to be her babysitter. "Finally, you will not contact anyone outside the Spire, you will not speak to any officials and if you do, you must tell me _everything._ Do you concede?" Concede. As if this was a war. She supposed, sourly, it was, and she was losing.  
"Yes. Sir." Her voice sounded hollow, defeated. He grinned.  
"Excellent thatta girl. Sensible option. One more thing. You will wear this." With that he pulled out a small electronic device the size of a pin-head. She had no idea what it was for.

"What is that?" Her eyes narrowed as she noticed how his shoulders tensed, muscles clenching slightly signalling he was about to make a move. "I can't trust you and I know you lot have ways of tricking the locators in your processers. _This,_ is a tracking device that is a little more reliable." Anna wasn't sure what to say. Did she protest or did she accept the added imposition? "It will go into your foot so it cannot be _misplaced._ " That did it. There was no way she was having that done without a fight. She moved, he pounced. He wrapped his arms, bear-like around her waist and forced her arms into the dreaded straps of the bench in the corner of the room. She kicked out, slamming her shin into his leg causing him to cry out, but he recovered monstrously fast and forced her round, tightening the straps. "You would be wise, girl, just to lie down and let me do this. You're only making this harder for yourself" he grunted. Still she struggled. Her arms were now pinned, but her legs kicked. It was brutal. He took a knife and held her foot and leg to the side at an angle so she could not kick at him. He sliced through the skin of the underside of her foot and carefully pushed the device in. Then, still holding her thrashing foot still as she clenched her teeth in pain, hoping not to wail, he slowly sewed up the wound. Once he was done her eyes were smarting with tears. She had yelled out every curse word she could think of and even made a few up but she could not stop it. He dabbed the wound with anti-septic and covered it up, then he pressed some painkillers and a cup of water to her mouth, making her swallow. At least they dulled the pain somewhat into an unpleasant throb. "Right, now that that's dealt with I shall get back to my thrilling work of planning the next lesson. And you. Don't touch that foot, any problems, come straight to me. That thing will track you for at least the length of this country so please don't think you can outrun the signal. It is an encrypted signal and you cannot remove it without cutting open your foot. I also wouldn't recommend trying to tamper with it due to a very clever little command I put in there. You try and remove that without the right electronic signal and it will explode. You'll survive but your foot will be shredded. So do yourself and everyone else a favour and leave it." She was gobsmacked. He'd put explosives inside her! "Don't worry, it won't go off accidently. Just don't tamper." He'd let her go after that. She'd resisted the urge to smack him and had limped on, trying hard not to let the pain show on her face.

The next day she had a lesson with the man. They were required to do stretches and exercises as a group before trying on the exosuits again and she was not looking forward to it. She knew he was going to make her pay for talking to Olivia, even if he couldn't do it as he'd originally wanted to. She was right. The exercises all seemed designed to put pressure on the feet, making it excruciatingly painful. But she refused to let a sound pass her lips. After a particularly intense stint she caught his eye roving her form, panting from the effort of a full press-up, which pressed down on her wound. "Come on Faeilr, you can do better than that!" he called cruelly. Mockingly he answered her death-stare. "Come on girl, want to give up?" She clenched her jaw and continued. "Thatta girl. Keep going. Just your right foot, go on. Do it!" She closed her eyes as she was forced to put all her weight into a press up on her injured foot and opened them to see him smirking. "Thatta girl!" She sent him the ugliest, most tremulously threatening look she could muster.

So it continued, eat, sleep, download homework, fight in calistenics simulations, pretend each fake enemy you cut down was a certain Professor, ignore people or any attempt to make friends, walk on in a daze. The days seemed to merge into one. Anna avoided everyone, answering questions on auto, doing everything she was expected to do but she seemed dull, she had no fight in her. The only time she ever showed some spark was during the simulation sessions where they had to fight virtual enemies. She was vicious then and dismissed any chidings to try and make her work as a team. Instead she fought with brutal efficiency until she was either killed or the session ended. If someone tried to talk to her she either answered briefly, discouraging further conversation, or she ignored them entirely. Some plebes had called her out on it but the excellent thing about ignoring words is you can keep doing it, until someone physically tries to attack you. Then you take them down but regardless you don't have to say anything. You are in control that way. That was what Anna found.

There had, at one point, been a bit of a game amongst the trainees to make her talk. They competed with each other to send her viruses that might make her say random things but her firewall was too strong and none succeeded, bouncing off it pathetically. She updated it every night, sometimes getting tips from Wyatt but generally keeping her work secret. Wyatt was too close to Blackburn. She saw Tom all the time but mostly they acted like they were strangers. He was with his friends, she remained alone. This didn't bother her, she had long since detached herself from what she did. Her emotional part, her soul was hidden where it could not be hurt by the hurtful remarks of others or loneliness. They weren't about her, they were about the shell, the act she was putting on in order to protect herself and others. Anyone close to her could be used as leverage.

Tom, as far as she knew, was keeping his agreement with Blackburn not to say anything. But he was impulsive, that much was clear. He struggled with his temper and always wanted to be the best. It was ridiculous, pathetic but he cared so much about what other people thought of him. Anna knew many of the girls fancied him, giggling about his physique and bad-boy attitude. But even they admitted he riled people up on purpose. Particularly that one kid, Karl Masters. He was a beefy guy, very testosterone-fuelled and he and Tom had been instant rivals. But Tom _really_ didn't help himself.

He was also a problem for her. Tom repeatedly messed around in class, he was belligerent and it made her nervous. Blackburn had said Tom had to do as he said or he would neutralise her, but Anna was unsure what he meant in context. He couldn't have meant Tom had to obey him in class because Tom was not doing that and there were no consequences for her. As far as she could see, everything was carrying on as normal, except Blackburn had leverage using her. But she was still acutely aware that Tom's actions had a direct impact on her well-being. Sometimes the knowledge pounded her head until she couldn't take it anymore. Sometimes she screamed. She'd go out, as far away as she could to some deserted corridor and screech, trying to get rid of some of the anger and frustration she felt. It was the not knowing that got her. She was well used to having threats held over her head that could be carried out at any time, but at least on Stow there had been no future. Here they were constantly working towards the future, to improve themselves and fight a war, and she knew that it was pointless, that anything she did would be wasted.

It was roughly six weeks since Tom had threatened Blackburn and Anna was at the end of her tether. She couldn't take the unending uncertainty of it all. She needed someone to talk to. She couldn't talk to Daisy or another Plebe obviously and Tom frankly lacked the maturity, so that left one person. It was late and she shouldn't be up but at that moment Anna didn't care. She felt impulsive, reckless as she carefully made her way down to Blackburn's laboratory. He was still there, working even at this late hour. It was a Friday meaning they could lie in the next day but Anna knew he could function on comparatively little sleep if he needed to. She banged on the door. He opened it, looking surprised, a frown on his face. "What are you doing here Faeilr? It's late. You know the consequences of being out of bed." Anna ignored him and pushed past, sitting on one of the desks, her feet dangling above the cold floor. She didn't care that she was in her pyjamas, she'd faced him in worse. "What are you doing?" he asked again, furtively shutting the door behind him.

"So here it is Blackburn-"  
"You will call me Professor or Sir, Faeilr", he interrupted her. "At all times."  
Anna narrowed her eyes. She didn't care. She didn't care. There would be consequences for this. "Listen, _Blackburn,_ I-" she didn't get a chance to finish as he marched towards her, staring down, menacingly.  
"Faeilr you call me Sir or I will report you right now to General Marsh for being up out of hours. He will revoke your liberties and you will be forced to spend your weekends in the Spire. More than that, I will put you in detention for a very long time meaning _any_ so called free time you get, you will be spending with _me._ Decoding. And before you ask, I do not need a good reason for continuous detention, I can just make something up. It is one of the few privileges of teaching you lot. Now do I make myself transparently clear?" She didn't want that. Any amount of time she spent with him was a chance to mess up, and reminded her of Stow, a place she'd rather forget. She was only here now because she had no other choice.  
She nodded, growling, "yes Sir." It tasted bitter on her lips.  
"Good. Now why are you up at this stupid hour?"

"Listen _Sir,_ I really don't want to talk to you about this, but to be honest you've made it very clear I have no one else to talk to and I have to talk to someone or I'm going to break, so you are gonna sit here now and listen." She felt her tone change as she took charge, her eyes glued to the floor, hair falling in front of her face, but her voice full of urgency and authority. He said nothing so she continued unabated. "I feel like I am gonna break down any second. I feel like the world is so irrelevant. I think about that girl all the time. Heather Akron. I didn't like her, she had no time for anyone who wasn't useful, she had it all and manipulated people but she was alive, she had opportunities, family and hope and you _sir,_ took it away from her!" The words were spilling out. After years of controlling everything she said she no longer could. She had opened the tap. This was not strictly true, she could hold it in if she had to. But she didn't want to and was too tired to pretend she was trying. "She is dead and I know what happened. I still don't know why you had to kill her but the fact is that every second I stay here with you is a second where I am withholding the truth from her family who are probably in misery not knowing. I am a criminal and I am so _so_ guilty. I should've said something the moment I knew." Blackburn twisted and gripped her arm hard, right hand curled around her hair pulling, forcing her head up to look at him, her eyes swimming with tears." What have you done?" he breathed.

She froze in his grasp. "No-nothing. Nothing, I haven't said anything. I just wanted to get it off my chest, to _talk_ about it. Well, for you to listen actually. I just – the guilt is consuming me. Whatever I do I can never ever make up for it. I am so so selfish, I care more about my own safety than anyone else's. I deserve to die. Because every second I remain silent, is another second where you could one day kill someone else. Like Olivia." Tears were streaming down her face now, her body was wracked with sobs as she wept. Blackburn released her, a strange expression crossing his face. "I just can't take it anymore. I am only human. I can't handle this. I think about it every day. Go through the options in my head and the worst thing is that I can't tell anyone and if I did they would hate me." She took a deep, shuddering breath and whispered, "and it's all your fault. I hate you. What you've done to me. What you have done to Olivia and Heather and Tom. You've ruined my life, you've destroyed everything. If you hadn't done that I wouldn't have this huge burden, I wouldn't have to make these choices. I would still be innocent. But I'm not. Because of _you."_ She spat out the last word but when she looked up at him it was with pity and confusion, not ire.

"Anna," he breathed heavily, looking rather weary. "One thing I want to make perfectly clear. _This._ Is _not_ your fault." He paused and took a deep breath. " _You_ couldn't have stopped me killing the girl and the counsellor. You are highly irritating, impertinent, belligerent, foolish and can't keep your overly large mouth shut. But you are also single-minded, patient, resilient and resourceful. You didn't do this, so stop wasting your time and energy blaming yourself." She shook her head, hair flaring around her face, sniffling in wretched woe.  
"I am, I could stop this and I don't. I don't. I should."  
"You are blaming yourself because you care about what happens to those who cross me but also about yourself? That makes no sense. You are allowed to have a sense of self-preservation, you are allowed to be afraid, to look after yourself and the only reason that lady had to die was because you told her, because you wanted to stop me." She let out a strangled gasp. "It wasn't your fault girl, but by saying something you led to her death, and yet you are blaming yourself for not saying something. You can't do anything about it. You tell someone and there are consequences. Oh I don't blame you for wanting some release, for wanting to save yourself from this but telling someone is not something you, or the person you plan to talk to, can afford and you can't do anything about this."  
"You're lying".  
Blackburn stood up angrily. "You are feeling guilty because whatever you do hurts someone. Including yourself. But this situation is out of your control. And even if it was, you should not be beating yourself up about this. You have good motives, you've been thrown into a situation you not only know nothing about, but you also should not have been put in. you've had to make decisions. And you will endure it. Because if you do not, I will kill you, whomever you tell, and maybe I will even leave a little explosion in the Spire before I leave, just because." Even with the roaring in her ears she noticed he'd left Tom out of his list of death. His voice softened slightly. "You do not deserve to die, you are not a bad person, you have been put in a bad situation, you have had to make difficult choices but your action or lack of action as you see it, is not wrong. Sometimes it is about survival too."

Anna was exhausted, she didn't know what to think, and could not face it any more. She stood and stumbled to the door, her bare arms closed around herself, goosebumps prickling against the chill. She felt vulnerable, exposed and drained, knowing she had just given him a huge emotional weapon against her, and yet she felt lighter. It was his word she was listening to, he had motives, but just the act of talking to someone about her feelings, despite the cost, had given her some release and a way to make some sense of the endless circle of thoughts that plagued her. "I, I'm going to bed now. Thank you", she murmured, stifling a yawn. Blackburn tilted his head, his hawkish face illuminated in the light of the room against the darkness of the corridor. "Don't blame yourself. But don't forget about what I will do if I think you plan to carry out that thought of talking." She nodded, eyes cast downwards and felt his eyes watching her until she turned the corner.

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Reviews please :) Pretty please - etc. :P


	16. The Experiment

Thank you for all your reviews! You guys rock! You keep me motivated :)

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Rumours were spreading. Horrible rumours Anna suspected had been started or at least helped by Daisy. About her and Blackburn. They had been rampant, inevitably, ever since their return from Stow, but now, half a year later, they were growing, spreading like wildfire. Whispers about her visiting him late at night (clearly Daisy had noticed her absence the other week when she had confided how she felt to him). There were mutters on the way he watched her, as if they shared a heavy secret, and gossip about some snatched glimpses of the bruises she had tried to cover up. On her arm where he had grappled with her, added to those in the past that people had seen, or claimed to have seen, particularly marks from her being strapped down whilst he had operated on her foot, to insert that infernal tracker.

There was also talk, a lot of talk, about an incident that had happened recently and no one knew how. "They just stopped advertising, went completely blank, and started projecting the _Ghost's_ words" Daisy was saying. She was talking about skyboards, large, mobile advertisement boards that blocked out the sky above major cities. They had, apparently, gone utterly blank the other day and then filled out with the words:  
'THE GHOST IN THE MACHINE  
IS WATCHING  
THE WATCHERS'.  
It had not just been in their city either but all across the Western hemisphere. Then they had become bright as suns, gleaming in magnificence before shattering at the apex, destroying the boards. Although the events had been hushed in the Spire, word had got through and suddenly it was all anybody spoke of. The _Ghost_ had become a sort of superhero, a kind of modern-day Robin Hood with people rising up and speaking against corporations. It was amazing. And no one had a clue how it had all been done, all the boards attacked in a single moment. The techs had no idea. Anna doubted even Blackburn could have engineered such a feat, although he certainly seemed very unhappy. It was odd, the _Ghost_ matched his values, she'd sat through enough rants about the importance of having a computer in her head, how corporations owned her and placed no value on human lives. Surely such an event, a punch at the corporations would make him happy? But if anything his mood seemed to have darkened.

But now it was vacation. Anna was simultaneously excited and dreading it. She would have a chance to get away from Blackburn but would have to spend time with her horrendous parents. She hadn't actually seen them for two years. They had ignored her when she had returned, her mother sending her a printed formal letter apologising for her absence as she had a meeting to attend, and her father insisting on a meditation session so their 'souls' could meet long distance whilst not having to actually see her. Blackburn called a meeting with her shortly before they were due to part. He had dark circles under his eyes and she wondered what it was that was troubling him. The _Ghost_ perhaps? "Come in, come in" he gestured for her to close the door, which she did with some trepidation.

"What is it Sir?" she asked.  
"I wanted to have a chat with you, to ensure you understood exactly what I expect of you this vacation. You are going to have to remain very quiet when you reach the inevitable nannies your good-for-nothing parents are gonna give you instead of their own presence" he sounded rather bitter on her behalf. He did, after all, know all about her personal life and her relationship with her parents. "Vacation is a week long. The first two days you will spend with them. The rest, with me." She gaped at him, furious.  
"Forget it. No way in hell. Over my cold, dead body."  
He narrowed his eyes at her. "Well that's exactly what it will be unless you do _exactly_ as I tell you!" He bit down on the words, spitting them out. "That was the agreement was it not? I can't afford to have you out of my sight for long, away from any reminders my presence may provide. So you go home for long enough to avoid suspicion, then you inform them you are seeing a friend. I will re-programme your location in your processor to somewhere suitable and you will stay at my apartment where I can keep an eye on you." He glared at her, daring her to disagree. She was happy to.  
"I don't want to."  
He scoffed. "What you want is irrelevant. You will do it. Besides, what have you got to look forward to at home? They will have fired, what was her name? The maid you had, the one who baked those cookies." She was surprised he'd remembered such trivial information, she had only let it slip once. Then again, on Stow there had been precious little else to think about.  
"Myra."  
"Yeah her. You said so yourself, she was the only reason you went home and she'd be fired after Stow, they thought you were dead." He did not seem aware of the effect his words were having on her, the way her eyes felt heavy, welling up with tears. Yes. Her parents didn't love her, they didn't care. And it hurt. She had long since numbed the pain, blocked it out from reaching her, much as signals could be blocked, but that didn't mean it wasn't there. It hurt so much. And Myra had been her one friend, like a mother to her, with her warmth and kindness, she made it seem like more than just a job, like she actually cared. But Anna had correctly guessed that once her mother thought her dead, whilst on Stow, Myra would be dismissed. And they would not re-hire her. No way. Her parents were all for new blood. When something was no longer useful and you then needed it again, you simply replaced it with a newer model. But it was painful to hear him speak these truths so uncaringly, so unflinchingly. She suspected that, although he seemed oblivious, he was well aware of the effect he was having on her with these words.

"Besides, it is only five days. That is nothing!" It was indeed nothing, she knew. Nothing compared to the insane amount of time they had spent in each other's company. But after so long, it seemed unbearable. "Fine" she snapped as she felt the emotion overwhelm her. She needed to get out of here. Perhaps her father would actually be there to greet her when she returned. Oh gosh she was going to have to spend five days with this man! She steadied her breathing, reminding herself she had spent many nights tied tightly next to him but after half a year of relative freedom, she was finding even this incarceration with him difficult. She turned to go- "Anna". She stilled and listened as his words crashed down.  
"If you do not turn up by noon on the third day, I will come and get you". His tone made it clear she would not want that to happen. She had suspicions that were it to come to that, he would discard her as untrustworthy and she would not escape death a second time. "Fine. Don't worry, I'll be there", she uttered in disgust.

She was home. The whitewashed walls, the fancy pillars, it was just as she remembered. Bittersweet. A man in a poor quality suit stepped down the steps towards her and shook her hand. "Good day Miss Faeilr" he announced, "it is good to see you home safely. Your mother sends her apologies but she is in Paris for the night at a board meeting. She will be here tomorrow however. Your father is in his study although he shall see you later." She bit her lip, swallowing back the disappointment. Of course they were not here. "Who are you?"  
"My name is Samuel and I have been employed to ensure your safe stay." She rolled her eyes, as if he could keep her safe. She was no child. She was 22 and been through more than her parents had in all their lives. "Thank you" she muttered, "please take the bags to my room". She stormed up the stairs, aware of how she looked. The well-bred hussy who thought she was too good for the Help. In a way it was true. She could not bring herself to care about Samuel, the man who had replaced Myra and was simply getting paid to provide what her own damn parents would not.

She marched up to her father's study, the oak door bearing his name on a small, golden plaque. Once she would have not dared interrupt him, would wait dutifully for an appointment. But she was not the same girl she had been. She was a woman. She had changed. She banged on the door, not waiting for a response and charged in. Her father, ever eloquent, sat at his desk, his brown hair tied back, interacting with a strange glowing object that seemed fluid in the same way that the wax in lava lamps becomes so.  
"Father." He glanced up, brow furrowed in consternation as he saw his only daughter. She had grown taller in two years, her cheeks had become firm, sharper and her eyes fierce. Her lips were thin and clenched, her stance slightly wide, providing good balance and she seemed to have a restless energy about her. As if she was expecting an attack. Yet at the same time she also appeared closed off, like she was full, overflowing to the brim but not allowing any of her emotions to spill. She looked as if she could remain motionless, docile for hours, apathetic but always ready.  
"Anna, what are you doing barging in here without warning?"  
"I gave you warning".  
"You knocked." His firm, disapproving tone softened as he seemed to realise what he was doing. "How are you?"  
It was so bloody formal. She knew what her answer should be. "I'm fine Father, thank you for asking. How are you?" But she could not bring herself to say it thought the words hovered insubstantially on her lips. "I, I I'm doing well at calistenics", she grasped at the one thing she could cling to that would keep the conversation safe. She grimaced, disappointed with herself. "I'm tired Father." She opted for some honesty. It was a new approach, one she had not had the opportunity to try before as her time with him was always so limited. "I don't want to be at the Spire anymore." Her heart automatically sped up as this was treacherous territory. If her Father ever tried to pull her out, she would be leaving and it would be open-season for Blackburn. At that moment, looking at the stranger in front of her she found herself thinking of the stranger she saw in the mirror every night, and could not bring herself to care about the danger.  
"I see". He sounded disapproving. "And you think that your happiness is an acceptable reason to forfeit such an opportunity, after all the destruction you have already caused this family's reputation with your reckless behaviour with the blogging?"  
She scowled. "Actually Father, I do. My happiness is _just_ as important as yours. And you know what, I am not going to pull out of the Spire, I can't. It was a condition of the authorities that I attend, but you can shove your self-righteous, miserable reputation right up your arse!" Her voice heightened in pitch as, for the first time in her life, she yelled at him. "I haven't seen you in two bloody years and you haven't changed a bit! You don't give a damn about me do you? Not a farthing! I was on a desert island for a long time, but you haven't even asked. You haven't asked what it was like, what I learned to do, how I coped. I'm just a failed project to you aren't I?" Tears pricked her eyes as she waited for his response. Her rage made her forget her well drummed in, intrinsic fear of fighting his authority.

"I see your little stint on that island has affected your mind. You are more in tune with your baser animal self than is natural, you are feral and chaotic. I shall inform the Spire to resume their counselling of you. Your state has corroded and clearly become inferior. We must work hard if we are to maintain the pretence that you are not." He never raised his voice, his tone barely changed.  
"Ooh in all your stupid psychology textbooks and courses, all your little hobbies, did you never learn about love? About loving your child?" He stared at her sternly, silent for an entire minute, pondering.  
"There is a theory that if you do not show love to a child, it will die. But it has never been proven. You, have disproved it. Your mother and I decided to test it out. I got her pregnant, but we never showed you anything that could be deemed emotional love."  
Anna gaped at him, shock resonating through her body. She felt sick. "What?" she breathed.

Her father sighed. "Well you had to find out some time. Of course, your ability to survive may well be due to friendships and other such love, we could not isolate you from the world, although we certainly talked to any friends you managed to make, told them to stay away from you. But we made sure never to show you affection, not that it was difficult." He looked at her in disgust, his lip curling. "You naturally had Anxious-Avoidant Insecure Attachment as a child, as classified by Mary Ainsworth, but you never died. It was fascinating, watching you grow up, with material wealth and privilege, but without support." Anna remembered the rumours that had followed her throughout her life. That she had nits, that she was insane, that she had no soul. They had led to some severe bullying incidents, even causing her to be pulled out of one boarding school. It was true that materially, she had never wanted for anything, and yet she had had no friends. Not even people after her just for her money.

She had made one once, a girl with fair blonde, cottony hair, called Isabelle. They had started to hang around at school and it was the first time Anna had felt truly able to laugh in the presence of another. It was amazing, being able to make someone giggle, to be able to share secrets, have a connection. Even when everyone else avoided her, Isabelle would sit with her at meals, read with her. Then, she remembered bitterly, it had all changed. She had mentioned her new friend with great delight, in one of her letters home. She had quickly received a response which was unusual, from her mother, asking her who her friend was and all sorts of details. Thrilled to have her mother's attention she had complied, detailing everything she wanted to know. Soon after Isabelle had been taken out of school, her father could no longer afford to pay the fees, something catastrophic had happened financially. Anna had been devastated and received a letter marked with her friend's curly handwriting, stating that Anna should not be upset, because it had all been fake anyway. She had been paid to be her friend, it said. She was relieved to go and be able to live her life without a clingy know it all following her around like a lost dog. Anna had sobbed, ten years old and made to tear the pages up. But she had not been able to bring herself to do so, even though the contents were horrible, she had known that it would be the last link to her friend. She had written back of course and received no reply. But she now remembered something else, something that suggested her friendship had been very real. It had certainly been her friend's handwriting, but they had had a secret. At the boarding school they would pass notes, and Isabelle always signed her's with a small flower, signifying it was from her and not made up by the other girls. Anna's insignia had been a scythe. She wasn't sure why she had chosen that, but the letter had not had a flower on it. It was possible Isabelle had been made to write the letter but had neglected to put her mark on, to show she didn't mean it.

Her vision spiralled as she realised with mounting horror, what she had always known. She was a case-study, truly a project, an experiment and her parents didn't love her. To hear her father speak of it just made it more real. She spent the night in the attic, sobbing over the case notes she had been given. She threw the pages down in rage, screaming, and picked one up at random to read it. Its colouring was yellowed by time and she could see her father's neatly slanted handwriting marking it. _12_ _th_ _May. The subject is two years old and three months. She is still avoidant and does not maintain eye contact. She can talk, in small phrases but chooses not to. She spends time playing in an imaginary world. The supervisors [her parents] have had to replace the subject's nannies every two months to stop her becoming attached. When the subject is eight years old, it is planned to provide a permanent nanny, after the critical age has been passed. The subject obeys authority without question. She delves and retreats into her head and imagination._

So it continued. _14_ _th_ _November. The subject is eight years old and nine months. She is at her third boarding school and is doing well, particularly in English and drama. She struggles in social relationships with other children and is experiencing bullying. She was approached by a boy who was friendly to her [as detailed by her teacher Ms Hawton]. The boy's parents will be spoken to and he will be encouraged to avoid her. Physically the subject is slightly overweight but developing naturally. She is still periodically seen to by her nanny [Myra Ponston] who appears to be attached to her. This attachment will be allowed to continue in order to study a single base of affection after the critical period. When the subject sees the supervisors [her parents] she still craves affections but is formal as expected. She does not maintain eye contact._

 _9_ _th_ _July. The subject is fourteen years old and five months. Subject is at her sixth boarding school. She is subdued and unresponsive to attempts to befriend her, believing them to be ploys. She has started showing interest in males, particularly celebrities but is unable to express her emotions towards them as she has no friends. Therefore she reflects her feelings onto celebrities. Subject is showing many signs of empathy and compassion for others, particularly being curious about the events that occurred in the Middle East._

Her whole life was laid out. Up to her enrolling in Camco: _Experiment terminated. Subject no longer useful, too many extraneous variables._ Her parents had not been paying close attention to her, but they had, had informants, teachers, to give these little updates every so often. It was sick. It was appalling. It was soul-destroying. She was the one project her father had stuck at.

The next day her mother arrived. Her elegant, blonde hair flowing in the wind. She wore dark makeup and heavy leather boots, at odds with her suit and tie. She strolled up to her father and kissed him, then turned her attention to Anna to whom she nodded, and whirled onwards. Anna's hair was shaggy and stray after a sleepless night and she had dark circles under her eyes. She followed her mother's footsteps into the living room and sat on one of the pristinely white sofas, ordering the maid to leave them be. "Mother. Mum. How are you?" she asked, wanting to pretend for a moment that it was all a bad dream. Her mother looked disapproving at the dismissal of the maid but gave Anna her attention, scrutinising the way she held herself, sheltered and hunched after last night's revelation, but still steady in her core. "I am well thank you Anna. And yourself?" she could have been spouting numbers for all the emotion in those words. Anna knew her mother could be warm, cold, lofty and passionate in front of others but it was all a front, and at home she dropped it. "Father told me, about the experiment. Why you never showed love." Her voice cracked at the word. Her parent simply passively stared on, tightening her mouth slightly as her only reaction. "I see. And?"  
"And, and, the experiment", she spat out the word like poison. "It is over now. I know about it. You can stop the pretence, you can, you can love me." She hated herself for asking, for mentioning it and wanting it, but she had to ask. Her mother raised her eyebrows. "Okay, there is no pretence Anna. You don't seem to understand. The experiment was interesting, something to keep your father happy, but I have never been too invested. Love is overrated. What does it mean anyway?" she scoffed. "Foolish. You are a stupid child who wants to be told the world is all rainbows and butterflies? Forget it." She swept on, a whirlwind, refusing quarter, denying Anna a chance to absorb this fresh blow. "You have material possessions, health and schooling. That is all you need, what more could you want? Don't be so ungrateful. You were born into this family, you have burdened us with your existence, so you will uphold our reputation and honour and forget this ridiculousness of _love_. The world is an act can you not see that? But your father and I, we have never been acting with you. Treat it as a gift. Now. I am tired from my trip. You may report to me in two hours. Have Samuel cook you something up if you are hungry. And do something about your hair, it is hideous." She left the room, Anna already forgotten as she stood there shaking.

She left that afternoon. She was not supposed to be at the Spire until the following day but she could not bear to spend any more time with those people. It was a strange day, she thought, wryly, when she would prefer to spend time with Blackburn. So she told her parents she was visiting a friend. Her mother had protested, stating that she had arranged for Anna to see a beautician, and her father was angry about the short notice but she had shouted them down, leaving in fury, but glancing back. She felt like it would be the last time she ever saw them and she wasn't sure how she felt about it. The vactrain took her to the Spire quickly and by 23.00 that night she had made her way to his apartment. Sighing she banged on the door and waited for it to open, the many locks clinking as they were meticulously undone.


	17. That Night

"Faeilr!" He was surprised. He had clearly not been expecting her or watching her tracker that day. His hair was slightly dishevelled, he had kept it long after Stow, and he was wearing, she noticed with a smile, a tight black t-shirt and grey tracksuit bottoms. Very different from his normal dress, it made him appear softer, more human. He rubbed his chin. "You're early" he noted. He looked at his… what was the word? Companion, hostage, pupil? He was stunned at how much she had changed in such a short amount of time. She looked utterly shell-shocked. She seemed outwardly frailer and her eyes had a dull, vacant sheen to them. She was dressed in a denim jacket, a green top and loose fitting jogging bottoms. Unusually for her, she also had make-up on. Blackburn had, of course, spent hundreds of days with her, and memorised every freckle on her pale face. She rarely wore anything to enhance her natural looks. She didn't really care about what other people thought of her, in personality or physically. Now she had dark eyeliner framing her eyes, and black eyeshadow, giving her a masked, desolate look. She was clearly using make-up to reflect her mood, he thought archly. Her lips were a dangerous shade of red, imposing, and her brown hair had been straightened to a sheer velocity, cutting through the air.

"You complaining?" she asked, sourly. She stomped in, not waiting to be invited and kicked off her shoes before making her way to one of the hard-backed wooden chairs. She noted how bare the place was, save for a scented candle on the mantelpiece. She scoffed, inwardly. Ridiculous. He had no interest in such things. She took in the glass of red wine on the table, an empty plate sitting neatly, and realised there were no personal effects at all. She dumped her bag on the floor, tapping her hands. The rest of her suitcases she had arranged to be taken to the Spire at the end of the week. She had only taken what she needed to see her 'friend'. Looking round nervously, Anna made her way to the kitchen and began loudly searching through the cupboards. "What. What are you doing?!" He called, storming into the kitchen. She had simply walked in here without any warning.  
"Looking for glasses. I'm thirsty", she answered, continuing her search until she found them. She then helped herself to juice from the fridge as he looked on. He wasn't too bothered about manners and the like, but this was too much.

" _Stop_ girl!" She ignored him, rooting through the cupboards for a frying pan, and grabbing some eggs. He reached for her arm, tugging her round hard. "STOP!"  
She started. She gave the impression she had barely been listening, so absorbed was she in whatever was going through her mind, making her clang and batter the pots and pans as she searched. "What?" she sounded sullen, belligerent.  
He narrowed his eyes. "What is with you? What's gotten into you?"  
"What do you mean?"  
He laughed, a hard bark. "What do I mean? I mean _this._ Coming here early, charging in, no decorations or manner."  
"I owe you nothing."  
"And yet, you shall still give it!" He sighed. "Sit down girl. I'll make your eggs." He poured her a large glass of red wine, refilled his and placed the scrambled eggs in front of her with some toast and butter. She wolfed it down greedily. They both took what they could with food, Stow had seen too many hungry nights. He watched her carefully as she slurped the wine. There was no doubting that something had happened. For her to be here willingly in the first place was a huge warning sign, but it was more than that. She looked as if something taunt inside her had broken. She looked damaged. He poured them both more wine, noting it was probably more than he really should give, but decisively not caring.

"So. What is it?" She bit her lip and drunk from her wine to avoid answering. "Okay, you are going to tell me. You can trust me. Despite everything, you know I am not about to go running to anyone with anything you tell me." He narrowed his eyes as he spoke, noticing how she flinched slightly at his first word. "Why does the word 'okay' bother you?"  
"It's not the word" she mumbled. "It's how you used it. My Mother uses it as a marker in her conversations." The way she said mother made his knuckles tighten. She looked so small in this moment, so distraught and forlorn. She avoided his eyes, staring, boring a hole into his velvet sofa as he sat next to her, twisted round so he could look at her. He had considered one of the chairs but had disregarded it. "You, you know the situation with my family, my parents." It was true. He did. He probably knew her better than anyone when he thought about it. She had let things slip at Stow, hinted at things about her family life, and once or twice, talked about it at length. "My parents used me as an experiment." She reached into her pocket and handed him a crumpled piece of paper, a case note and a description of the experiment.

Blackburn read it with mounting fury. His fingers clenched at the paper. He wasn't a good person by any means but to see someone used like that was too much. The paper tore slightly and he tossed it into the fire. He didn't say anything, he didn't need to. She took some more wine and pulled her knees to her chest, hunched over, rocking slightly, for once not hiding her distress. Something pulled at his chest, his eyes were soft and for some inexplicable reason he felt protective all of a sudden. He reached out with a large hand and pulled her towards him. She pulled back instinctively but he tugged harder until they were incredibly close. He was acting largely on instinct now as her eyes met his and he had an urge to comfort her. He moved the hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear and leaned forward, kissing her with surprising tenderness.

Anna was shocked. She had told him about her parents, shown him the paper, there had been no point in hiding it, he knew her too well. And she had to tell someone, it may as well be someone she could guarantee would not tell anyone else. After all, if someone had done you wrong and knew you could not tell on them, they were not going to tell on you for fear of their own crimes being uncovered. It was how victims often became victors in the films, they said "what are you going to say?" The villain could not report any assault or property damage without telling about their own acts. So she had confided in him. She was feeling rather tipsy from the wine, and sleepy. She hadn't minded that he had sat next to her for once, she felt safe. Then Blackburn had reached towards her and gently pressed his lips to her's. She had been unsure what to do, but then suddenly disregarded all caution, all common sense and kissed him back, fuelling the need for contact, to know she was not worthless, that someone in the world actually wanted her.

Oh their relationship was complicated, she knew this as they exchanged kisses, and she scrambled onto his lap, desperate to be closer, to fill this dreaded void. They knew each other's secrets and in some ways were closer in their absolute trust that not a thing said between them would be repeated. She could say anything to him because he wouldn't repeat it. And yet there was the hatred, the hostility and threats. She was terrified of him but he was the one person she could trust. It was messed up she knew, but right now she didn't care. She moved her hands to the underside of his t-shirt, sliding it up and helping him as he shrugged it off, revealing his clean-shaven chest. She ran her hands over his smooth chest, as he lay down so she was on top of him. Then he reached for her top. She was unsure how she felt about this, but allowed him take it off her and discard it on the floor. It was rubbish, she was the prize and he only had eyes for her. He took in her face, her makeup, tear-streaked, and her sharp cheeks, begging for comfort. His eyes fell downwards and she watched him scrutinising her but with smiling eyes, as he reached, cautiously, to undo her bra strap. She shook it off and they continued kissing as the wind blew in cold and harsh from the open window to the night.

Later as they lay huddled together, Blackburn stroked her cheek, wiping tears away. She had cried, wearing her tears as badges of honour against the hurt her parents had done her. "You know, you aren't worthless Faeilr" he muttered into her neck. "They shouldn't have done that." She scoffed, and pulled on her clothes, getting up from his warm embrace. "You know you aren't getting five more days of this" she teased as she wriggled away from his hands and moved towards the spare room. She missed his glorious smirk, marking his face, transforming it.

The next day felt distinctly odd. Neither of them mentioned the night before, swigging water to ward off the hangovers. But there was a difference between them, an electricity. Largely however, things carried on as normal. "Faeilr" he called her over. "Last night was…"  
"I know."  
"I don't want you to think that…" he tailed off as she looked at him, resignation in her eyes. "You are still bound by our agreement." She rolled her eyes. "Don't lose sight of the situation" he reminded her, looking incredibly awkward. They had both lost sight of the situation. She was a hostage. And yet perhaps that was precisely why last night had happened. She had needed comfort, their relationship was so twisted, so unpredictable but it was very real and she was too tired to dwell on the morals of it today. "I know" she had replied.

The rest of the week passed strangely. Almost as if they were back on Stow. Anna cooked, Blackburn worked or exercised. He carried on teaching her fighting, something he had started on Stow but had stopped when they had arrived at the Spire. She had only participated because of the exercise and the thrill it gave her to arm herself against him. But she had never been able to beat him. She had never been sure why he had taught her such things, she could only imagine that it didn't matter as he would never allow her to be better than him. There were moves he would never teach her. She ducked and dodged his fists and struck back as they sparred. "You're slow. You haven't been practicing" he growled, rallying her with a series of kicks, one of which caught her waist, parrying her backwards. "Oww!" she responded with blocks and parries, finally hitting him with her elbow so he hissed in pain. They watched tv whilst eating, Blackburn laughing at the jokes on the comedy programmes. Neither of them watched sport. It had never interested her but she found it even more trivial now, rooting for a team. So superficial. The week flew past, and it wasn't so bad. It was a bit like later days on Stow, where she no longer had stomach clenching fear at the sight of him, just sifted along relatively comfortably knowing things were liveable until something happened to upset the balance. Like returning to lessons. Then all hell was back on, all rules broken and anything went.

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Reviews pleaseee! :D Thank you!


	18. Rumours

"So, you been busy with Blackburn lately?" Daisy ribbed her, teasing in a way that seemed almost too keen. "You know, Wyatt says we can sign up for the field trip, he's coming too. You'd like that wouldn't you?" she winked, her pretty face with her freckles and mischievous, deep pink smile giving her an impish appearance. Anna ignored her, not honouring her speculations with words, although she knew this would spur more ideas. The field trip to the corporations was an important chance for the Plebes to prove themselves, to introduce themselves and she was unsure how it fitted into her 'agreement' with Blackburn about going to places. "Come on Anna, I'm only teasing!" Daisy nudged her with her elbow. Anna rolled her eyes. "I'm going on the trip, of course I am. You are too right?" She spent the next half an hour using her energy trying to keep Daisy off the subject of Blackburn and making small talk. It drained her.

It had been six months since she had arrived back at the Spire, and Heather had been dead just over two years. The Plebes tumbled into the chamber to the vactrain, the train that travelled through a vacuum meaning they could travel the globe incredibly quickly. Anna's chest contracted as she remembered being here, aged 20, two years before. She'd recalled wanting to see the space where the train went, hoping someday to vlog about it. But had heard voices, one of Blackburn, a man she had paid little attention to beforehand, and the other, Heather, the stuck-up princess who was physically very beautiful but emotionally, devious, selfish and manipulative. She had hidden and listened as Heather had threatened the Lieutenant, blackmailing him with information on something Tom Raines could do. He'd warned her, told her to come with him to the census machine so he could erase those memories of uncovering what Raines could do. But she had naturally not believed his warning, he had, after all, not given her any real reason to apart from some threatening words. He had depressurised the area and she had been sucked into the vacuum, the horrified knowledge flooding her terrified face. And now they were back there.

They were crammed in like sardines, pressed together, and reached their destination very quickly. But they were not going straight to the first corporation's headquarters. The vactrain could not go everywhere and stopped a while off, near the city. Corporates of course would take a taxi but there were far too many Plebes for that so they made do with a hired bus. The thing trundled along towards them, its huge, guttered wheels clinging to the surface of the road. The crowd of Plebes surged and Anna found herself near the back of the queue. There were smirks on many of the faces of the Plebes surrounding her and many winked at her or nudged her before heading on. "Have a good trip" Daisy almost sneered, pushing past her. There were a few spare seats but as Anna moved towards them the Plebes quickly moved to fill them or plonked their dirty shoes on the seat so she could not sit down. Calls of "have a good trip" echoed down the corridor of the bus as Anna was turned away and forced to take one of two seats at the front. Something banged off her firewall with the name Programme:OperationBlackburnAndAnnaAloneSexyTime. It seemed to be simply a message which triggered sniggers and cackles from the immature mass. They had clearly planned for her to have to sit next to him on the journey to the corporation headquarters. It was pathetic. She flushed but shot them glares. Her suspicions were confirmed when Blackburn boarded the bus and glanced round, looking for alternative seats. He gave an almost imperceptible shrug of his shoulders, revealing he didn't mind, and sat next to her, penning her in by the window. Anna began feeling claustrophobic, clasping the velvet seat of the coach to steady herself. Wolf whistles echoed down the centre corridor of the vehicle. Blackburn turned abruptly and with a single stern stare silenced them. But the hushed whisperings did not stop. The coach started as the driver pulled out and Anna leaned towards the window, trying desperately to stop herself accidently touching Blackburn although this was near impossible. Their knees, their elbows, she could not stop the contact. She flushed at memories of that heated night flooded her mind.

To make matters worse the seats were at the very front, behind the driver, but there was a sizeable gap between them and the rest of the Plebes, and the wheels upon which they were situated masked any noise. Whatever he said to her could not be overheard. He rolled his eyes at her discreet struggles to move further away. "You know what you are going to say when you reach the corporations?" he muttered. She glanced sideways, realising they counted as officials and therefore were subject to their 'agreement.'  
"I don't know what you want me to say. Seeing as how you apparently own me". She winced at her words, she had not meant to say them but they made it so real. She noticed the corners of his mouth turned upwards slightly. "Well I mean this _is_ my future we're talking about, and you seem to want a bloody stake in it seeing as you keep butting in and trying to take control" she growled.  
"Trying would suggest I hadn't succeeded" he retorted, infuriating as ever. "This is a good opportunity. You can either enter as a spy, but you would be too difficult to control" he almost seemed to be talking to himself. She leant closer to listen and cringed at the immediate giggles from the back as the action was noticed. He leaned forward, conspiratorially. "No. You will do badly. Offend them. I'm sure it will be easy enough, you are unusually good at it." She scowled. "I do not want you to attract their attention. At least not in a positive way. Do not allow them to consider sponsoring you, be plain, boring and rude. They won't pick you, you'll stay at the Spire. Not that it matters." He frowned and her brow also furrowed. What did he mean?  
"So what am I supposed to do? Stay at the Spire forever?" she asked incredulously. He laughed softly.  
"No. You simply won't be sponsored as a combatant. No great loss on their part. There are other things a Plebe can do with that processor in you. I will instruct you on which option to take nearer the time, once you have alienated the corporations. It will have to be something where I can still keep an eye on you."  
"I know! She said in a mock-jaunty tone. "I could be your housekeeper, then we could even live together, and you wouldn't even have to leave the house to check on me" she said as sarcasm dipped venomously from her words. He chuckled. "No. I will think of something. Just mess up today. Won't be difficult." He winked at her but it was far from jovial, more threatening. Her mind raced. If she could get away to the corporations, she might be safe. She wasn't stupid. They may have shared the night together a week ago but things had not changed that much. She was still in danger, as always, her default state it seemed. If a corporation sponsored her as a combatant Blackburn wouldn't dare touch her, she'd be too valuable, the spotlight would be on her and he couldn't risk it. He was trying to intimidate her to purposefully fail so she would be under his thrall forever but that wouldn't happen. Her resolve was set. She would find a sponsor today.

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Review tax? :)


	19. The Ghost in the Machine

They reached the headquarters for Dominion Agra. It was incredible. The architecture of the place was remarkable. In all the poverty that had overtaken much of America, the corporations certainly didn't mind flouting their wealth. They were shown through room after room, wide-eyed and slack jawed. But Anna reminded herself constantly of the evil this corporation had wrought. Dominion Agra controlled all the world's food supply through cleverly patented micro-organisms they had bred. They were utterly ruthless, having participated in the decimation of the Middle East when the citizens had refused to pay tribute. However the world overlooked this atrocity, because they brought such wealth to the important people. Anna was frankly amazed that someone hadn't introduced a colourless, non-toxic gas into the atmosphere and charged them all for breathing it. It was essentially what had been done with the food and water of the Earth.

She noticed Tom tensed slightly, curling his hands into fists at the sight of the leader of the corporation, Dalton Prestwick. He was an imposing man and yet gave off an aura of distinct weediness, his slimy complexion making Anna want to recoil from the grease layered in his hair. He strode in, surveying the Plebes like he owned them, like he owned the world. "Welcome" his smarmy voice fluttered out over the wide-eyed Plebes, as they desperately tried to make good impressions. "Welcome to Dominion Agra. It is a pleasure to see such potential and opportunity gathered here today. As you know, you are the future. Your loyalty and hard-work will enable you to rise smoothly up the ranks of Dominion Agra, if you are chosen. If we sponsor you, you will represent this company and therefore we only sponsor the best. We expect your absolute loyalty and in return, we will shower you with responsibility and more opportunities than you could dream of." Blackburn rolled his eyes slightly. Anna smirked. To others it would have looked as if he was staring impassively ahead, but Anna saw the slight movement.

The Plebes waited to be let in to meet the executive. Technically Anna was a Middle and the others were Uppers. Her time at the Spire went a different route to the others' as she had spent so long away. Therefore she was joining the Uppers in their invite-only meet and greet. She had been nominated, apparently for her programming skills which were becoming exceedingly honed after all her work on her firewall, and, she suspected, out of curiosity.

"Miss… Faeilr", Dalton consulted his sheet. His eyes lit up as he realised who she was. "Quite an adventure you've had. What was it like?" She didn't need to ask what he meant.  
"I learned a lot about responsibility there", she answered.  
"And what do you think you can bring to Dominion Agra?" He surveyed her critically, steepled fingers and leaning back on his plush leather chair. Anna had prepared a bit for this but was mostly relying on her ability to ad lib. However, now she really wanted this. She _needed_ a sponsor! "Sir, Mr Prestwick. I am utterly unique, different from any other candidate. I have experienced things that would make… _others_ quail in their boots." She had been about to say 'you' but decided he would take it personally. "I know about survival and my experience has left me keenly aware of the importance of loyalty and trust. I have skills no one else has, my scores in calistenics are excellent, as are my programming skills. I am a hard worker. I am loyal" she lied. Suddenly she saw how to win him over. A man like Dalton Prestwick, who carefully sculpted every hair on his head, wanted his ego stoked. "And if you are wondering, Sir, why I am interested in working with Dominion Agra specifically? I am of course pitching to the other companies but only as second-options. I would love to work for this company. It is my goal. And the reason, Sir, is you. Someone who has risen through the ranks so quickly, who is so professional and capable of commanding so many people, you are someone I deeply admire and respect. I would be honoured to be sponsored by you." They were all lies of course. Oily filth to butter this man up but Anna figured she needed a sponsor, if she got more than one that was excellent. It wouldn't matter if she chose someone other than Dominion Agra if she had the option, by then it would be too late for Prestwick to say anything about her choosing a different corporation.

The day went on like that. Meeting and greeting the various heads of corporations. By the end of the day Anna was feeling rather confident. She had smooched and sucked up expertly to the heads, even managing to get a giggle out of Epicenter Manufacturing's Pandita Rumpfa. Anna had succeeded in getting informal offers from them, Dominion Agra and Wyndham Harks. She wasn't sure which one she'd choose but it would probably be the latter. She didn't like Prestwick and hated the idea of using prisoners as de facto slave labour as Rumpfa advocated. There were still others to visit though, they were heading there the day after next. Blackburn cornered her at the end of the day.  
"Well?"  
"I messed up. Like you said, so no worries" she lied. She averted her eyes, sure he saw past the deception. Once she was formally offered a place he could not touch her. He narrowed his eyes at her but let her leave.

The next day they had the day off to prepare for the next batch and many of the Plebes went into town. Anna did too, informing Blackburn via netsend as she had been ordered to do. Vik had invited her to join him and, feeling strangely flattered, Anna accepted. Of course that meant putting up with Lyla for a few hours, and Yuri and Wyatt swooning over each other, but it was a good day out. Besides, Tom Raines was there and it was one of the few times she could actually spend time with the guy.

They were _so_ immature! Anna was nearly 23, Tom nearly seventeen and it really showed. He was like a little child, so infantile in his humour. It was fine, he was pretty funny and didn't take things too seriously, but he never seemed to take anything seriously. By the end of the afternoon Anna could not wait to leave and find some time for herself. She was desperate to spend some time away from people, surfing the web, as she hurriedly stalked down the corridor towards the computers. Suddenly the door to her left opened and Blackburn appeared. He grabbed her by the scruff of the neck, fingers tearing at the front of her shirt as he pulled her into the small room. He banged the door shut as Anna stood, frozen, heart beating and terror flooding her. What was going on? "Are you insane? Did you not hear a word I said? Why?" He growled, releasing her, allowing her to stagger back against the wall in shock. "What are you talking about?"  
"Dominion Agra. Epicenter Manufacturing, Whyndham Harks! Did you really think I wouldn't find out? You got offers!" Blood pounded in her head as she tried to think of a way out of the situation. She dared not move. He was like a predator. She was unsure what he would do.

"It's not my fault I'm so good they offered to sponsor me" she retorted. Then fear got the better of her and she darted towards the door. Blackburn reacted with surprising speed, grasping her shoulders, then her wrists and pressing her to the wall. "I told you to remain under the radar" he uttered, "you disobeyed me. Now I have to clean this up. As if I don't have enough to worry about." He paused. "You and Raines will be the death of me." Anna pushed him off her.  
"Well I'm accepting. I won't spill your secrets but I won't be under your thumb forever James." She was very surprised when he let her go, expecting him to pull her back in. But he said nothing as she walked out of the door.

The next day Blackburn was not with them. They were at Milton Manor by Yosemite Valley. The view was stunning. Some of the corporations from the other day were represented there and it was rumoured that Vengerov himself would be present. It was pretty standard, schmoozing and pretending to be in awe of the sheer amount of supposed power in the room. Nothing too difficult. Anna felt radiant. She felt like she had some sort of superpower, knowing that she had been offered places with these people. After all, if she accepted, she would be untouchable by Blackburn. It gave her a perverse sense of pleasure knowing this as she strode round the room, shaking hands with exchanging pleasantries. Then it happened. "Look", Tom said, gesturing to the window. A Corday-93 was visible, hanging in the air. It was an unusual sight. It was a weaponised machine that could glide around and to have one near the party was pretty alarming. Two more appeared. A split-second later it fired, shooting laser bolts at the party-goers.

Anna and the other Plebes dived to the ground, hugging the floor. She scrambled for shelter behind a chair, eyes darting to the windows for escape. Men and women were running, their thousand dollar dresses and suits tearing as they scrambled for safety. And they were being cut down like dogs. Anna reached out and grabbed hold of one, Alana Lawrence from Epicenter Manufacturing. The lady's gown was sizzling diamonds, light blue sparkling stones glinting as she struggled, fully aware that her wealth could not save her. In fact, Anna thought wryly, it might be what condemned her. "Shut up and get down" she hissed at the panicking lady. The others were being picked off one by one as they ran to the doors but strangely, none of the Plebes seemed to have been harmed. The room was a mirage of confusion and chaos but Anna suspected the drones either were not after the Plebes, or it was something to do with the fact that many were hiding rather than running. She pressed the woman further to the ground, warning her to be still as Anna peeked her head round to see what was going on. There were dead bodies spilled like seeds, scattered on the floor. Screams were filling the room. She spotted Tom, Vik, Wyatt and Yuri hiding behind a piano. Then the lasers hit Hank Bloombury, the bald investment banker was dead before he hit the ground. Alana shrieked and dashed out from the relative safety of the chair, stumbling forward before Anna could stop her. She was killed just after Gordon Rivkin. Anna tried to make sense of the awful amount of death before her, but she couldn't. Her brain might have been superhuman, but it could not process all this, not right now.

She crawled to the window, wondering if there might be a way out that way. Then Sigurdur Vitol was killed. The drones smashed through the glass floor where he stood and sent the man tumbling to his death on the rocks. It was horrific. Anna scrabbled for the window but it was a sheer drop. There was no way to escape and nothing to cling to out there. She noticed Wyatt and the others trying to get one of the Praetorians to shoot. These were machines used to kill but were currently inactive and being used as coat racks. Wyatt triggered one manually, firing at the Corday and Anna's heart stopped in her mouth when a Corday pointed its laser at the girl. She was frozen and watched as it shot the Praetorian out of her hand and astonishingly, left her alone. It continued targeting executives. So they were immune it seemed. This was good. But Anna didn't trust whoever was controlling them not to hit them accidently if they started running around. Then a fair-haired, deathly pale man stepped out from the stairs. Joseph Vengerov. He appeared unflinching and uncaring as he cast his lazy eyes at the chaos surrounding him. The drones circled him but didn't shoot. "You can't kill me" he uttered. And they didn't kill him. He lashed out with incredible speed and disabled one of the shot down Cordays. Then they saw it. The writing burned into the wall.

THE GHOST IN THE MACHINE  
IS TARGETTING  
THE WATCHERS

Later they discovered that the Ghost had been hitting other important people too. Killing them, horribly. In India, microdrones dug into the skin of people, massacring them. The Spire was abuzz with speculation on who this could be, and why it was only Obsidian Corp's tech that was being hacked. Whoever the Ghost was, they were incredible at Programming. Anna didn't know. But she had her suspicions. Tom could clearly do something, he was very strange, but he didn't strike her as a killer. Besides, he was there when the attack had happened. Blackburn wasn't.


	20. Cruithne

As time wore on, more and more executives were being killed in inventive, imaginative ways using Obsidian Corp and LM Lymer Fleet technology. It was insane. One person was wreaking mass havoc, vigilante justice was rampant and although they were rich profiteers and not necessarily 'good' people, Anna could not just forget that these _were people_ dying. Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, wives and husbands. People with real lives and feelings and blood pumping through their veins. Until the Ghost killed them all. And she knew who it was. Or at least, she had her suspicions. Blackburn was one of the only people she knew who would be capable of it. And she was sure he was capable of the hacking required intellectually. She wasn't sure he could cold-bloodedly calculatingly murder that many people, men and women, but she had a horrible feeling he might be capable of it. When Reuben Lloyd died in his yacht, the panic of the rich spread, and Anna decided enough was enough. She stormed off to his apartment and banged on the door, the sound resonating on the rich wood.

Blackburn opened it, raising his eyebrows in surprise. She was about to speak but he seemed to realise that whatever she was about to say was probably not something he would want being overheard. So he raised his finger in a gesture to be silent and leaned over her to look down the corridor. Then he stepped aside so she could go in. She did so but did not sit down. She waited as he shut the door, the bolts sliding across with an ominous sound. "Is it you?" she demanded.  
Blackburn sighed exasperatedly. "Is what me?"  
"Are you the Ghost? Are you killing all those people?" His deadpan stare bored into her, giving her his best pokerface. "Of course not" he said eventually.  
"You know who it is?"  
"If I knew who it was I would be at their side shaking their hand" he retorted. Anna narrowed her eyes, searching his, memorising his face. She knew him better than that.  
"You're lying. It is you. You're a psychopath!"  
Blackburn's face split into a rueful grin, and he shook his head slowly. "Go to bed Faeilr. Stop worrying about things that don't concern you."  
Rage filled her. "Don't concern me? If you are killing innocent people I think I-"  
"INNOCENT PEOPLE? Those people are not innocent! They are the reason for this mess! They-"  
"FINE! They aren't innocent! But that doesn't mean you can just off them like ants!"  
"Why not?" he challenged coolly. "They have no regard for human life. They see us as ants, workers to do their bidding. They are doing the world no favours breathing and you are wasting your breath defending them." His lip curled. "What did you plan to do? Come down here and persuade me to stop? Come and stop me?" Anna took a step backwards and folded her arms across her body. She wasn't sure what she had come down here for. The truth for one. In front of her stood a mass murderer. Someone for whom the ends totally justified the means.  
"Don't do it", she whispered. "Stop!"  
"No. You and I both know that isn't going to happen." He came forward. His eyes searched her's, looking to see if this new revelation would prompt her to do something drastic. He eventually seemed satisfied because he stepped back, releasing her from his glare. Anna made to turn for the door, she slid the iron bolts back, turned the keys but the door would not open. Panicking slightly she turned back to find Blackburn had silently closed the space between them. "What are you doing? Let me go!"  
He rolled his eyes. "It is electronic. Only I can open it." He did so, she didn't see how but the door slid seamlessly open, its hinges well oiled. Startled, Anna rushed through, not wanting to be trapped in the apartment a moment longer. She felt his eyes on her back as she hurried away.

The next day more people died. Paranoia was mounting and she found it ironic that it was all happening just a few metres from where they were sitting. She felt dreadful, she hadn't slept and was chugging orange juice like crazy. All those people were dying, and she could stop it. But at what cost? Her own life. Tom's perhaps? And they might not even believe her. She was sure Blackburn could cover his tracks. She was a terrible, cowardly person. Xi Quinghong from Preeminent Communications was murdered, followed by others. Then the scandal erupted as the internet became infested with evidence that Vengerov sponsored both Obsidion Corp and LM Lymer Fleet, on opposite sides in the war.

Anna still had to accept a sponsor. Those being murdered were simply being replaced, although the Ghost certainly had everyone in fear. She ended up accepting Whyndham Harks. She didn't tell Blackburn, she figured he'd find out anyway and heck she had the upper hand, at least for now. She was still worried of course, she'd be stupid not to be. She now knew who the Ghost was for crying out loud! But she was sponsored! She was in the spotlight, deigned to fawn over the corporation. With a concerned grimace she remembered that despite Heather's disgrace, she had been in the spotlight too. Anna ignored the thought. It was too late to change things. She saw Blackburn over breakfast that day. His icy cold glare found her from across the room and she felt chills tingle down her spine. She bit her lip and was first to break the contact, eating her breakfast with her heart in her chest.

It was weird. Normally if she'd even slighted him, he'd be picking on her like crazy during Programming, using her for demonstrations and such. But since she'd accepted he hadn't said a word to her, ignoring her completely. She didn't mind, it gave her some peace and quiet but it was disturbingly unsettling. It was as if she didn't exist to him.

Then it happened. It was November, Anna had turned 23. Since getting sponsored Anna had been moved to Upper and was allowed to fight and practice controlling real machines in space! They were going to be heading towards Cruithne which was an asteroid rather large in size. But it wasn't there. The space twinkled ominously, blackness enveloping the distant stars. Wyatt went to find out what was going on, Anna's ship was hit by oncoming Russio-Chinese combatants who had surprise attacked, so she awoke in the room, lying down, and unplugged herself from the neural interface. She glanced around at the still bodies of the other combatants still plugged in. Wyatt returned, a frantic look on her face as she hooked herself in. Ten seconds later everyone was waking up looking confused. Wyatt had terminated the connection. The combatants sat in stunned silence as the news sank in. a five km asteroid was heading straight to Earth, and no one could stop it. This was the end of life on Earth. Gone. Over. "What do we do?" asked Clint.  
"We die, Clint" replied Lyla. They had thirty-seven minutes. It was nothing. Not an hour even! She listened to the discussion of the other combatants as Tom plugged himself back in, probably to try and relieve his distress by blasting things in space she scoffed. Most of the others went to try and call family. Vik and Lyla were clearly going to have some 'apocalyptic' sex and Wyatt was hugging Yuri.

Anna wasn't about to waste time calling her parents. No one would get through anyway. She wasn't sure what to do, she felt utterly numb. This couldn't be real! It was like a dream. Her feet were moving and she found herself going to Blackburn's lab. She had no idea why but if there was one person who knew more about her than any other, it was him. She didn't want to spend her last minutes surrounded by people who had no idea who she was. She heard voices and was stunned to hear General Marsh talking! He'd been replaced a long time ago by someone far more into military tactics. Not that she'd cared too much.  
"I know what you've been doing, Lieutenant."  
"You do?"  
"Make peace with God. Look at some pictures of your kids…Do _something_ other than fixate on that white wale of yours."  
"There is nothing else, General."  
Anna waited until Marsh had finished berating Blackburn: "that was no way to live, and it's certainly no way to die." She hid as he left the room and peeked through the door to see Blackburn burning a hole in the floor with his gaze, rubbing the scars on his face.

"Hey." She walked in nervously.  
"What do you want?"  
She bit back her retort and instead simply said "I'm not sure. I just didn't want to be by myself." She scoffed. "All that effort to keep myself alive only to die by a blinking comet!"  
He frowned. "It's not a comet, it's an asteroid. And it's not an accident."  
"What?"  
He walked over to her and looked down at her. "Vengerov" he growled. "Who do you think has the resources to make this happen and make sure the sensors didn't alert us until it was too late? Who has no care for humanity?"  
"But even he-" Blackburn placed his large, calloused hands on either side of her face.  
"He is more than capable of it. Believe me." They stood there for several moments, utterly silent, breathing in and out.

Anna realised that although she'd spent so much time with him, she knew very little about the Lieutenant. Calling him a private person would be understating it to the extreme.  
"You had a wife." It was a statement but partially a question.  
He glanced at her curiously and nodded. "Esme."  
"How'd you get a wife?" she joked. If you couldn't have a laugh at the end of the world, what could you do? He looked at her, distracted.  
"Why wouldn't I be able to get a wife?"  
"Well, you know, you're so scary and big and serious. It's a wonder she didn't run away screaming" she teased.  
He chuckled. "What do you know? I'll have you know I'm smart, funny, powerful, witty, incredibly good looking and highly intelligent. I found it ludicrously easy to get a wife."  
She smirked. "Now you're beginning to sound like Vik Ashwan." She'd never seen anyone look so offended.

He remembered meeting her all those years ago. Her dark hair and bright eyes had caught his attention immediately. He'd been a Private in the army, eighteen years old. He'd had his hair all cropped, his uniform polished until it was gleaming, and his muscles toned until he'd felt he'd looked the part. Ridiculous. He'd wandered over to her as she said goodbye to her brother, a large fella who never smiled. He was killed a couple of years later, an explosion. "What Division?" He'd begun talking to the other boy, hoping to use him as an excuse to speak more with the girl next to him.  
"56th, you?"  
"57th. Pretty close. Name's Blackburn. James. Blackburn". He grinned. The older boy didn't get it, he'd been alluding to the old books and films, James Bond. But the beauty understood, she returned his smirk and shook his hand. "I've been expecting you Mr Blackburn", her white teeth flashed in the sun as her curls filled out round her shoulders. "I'm Esme. This oaf is Frank."

So it had begun, they'd started chatting, he'd written letters whilst deployed, and she'd written back. A year and a half later they'd been married. He remembered proposing, atop the cliffs, looking down at the ocean. "It's so beautiful James" she'd muttered, dying sunlight clinging to her lashes. "So wild and free."  
"It is. I can be wild too you know." He remembered swinging his arm round her waist and tumbling with her to the ground, the grass light under them. Later he'd proposed, heart beating, sweaty and terrified, he'd shown her the ring he'd saved up to buy, got his knee muddy and said the words: "Be my wife. Be my wife Esme." He rarely thought of it now. Of course he still had a reminder of her every day when he looked in the mirror and saw the scars on his face, after the children, his boys, had been blown up, she'd scratched him and left him with a permanent reminder. They'd divorced of course. He'd never seen her again. He wondered if she was thinking of him now. He'd only been twenty when Vengerov had taken him, their boys so young. But she had waited, stayed with him as he struggled with the paranoia and Schizophrenia. And the man who had caused all that. Who had destroyed his life and countless others – was free. In a bunker somewhere.

Blackburn came to and noticed the woman in the room with him. He'd been silent for several minutes, reminiscing. He snorted. It was so pointless all of it. Anna looked lost in her own thoughts as she sat, swinging her legs off the end of the desk. He touched his cheek, surprised to see his fingers come back wet. "What were they called?" She spoke, breaking the silence.  
"Who?" His voice was gruff.  
"Your boys. What were they called?"  
"Callum and William, they were good kids. Energetic."  
"I'm sorry."  
He gave a harsh laugh. "Don't be. We'll all be dead soon. Don't be sorry."  
She moved towards him, shifting her weight to his, and leant on him. He hesitantly put his hand on her leg. And together they waited out the minutes to impact.


End file.
